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surrender passion for rational thought... but that never got me too far.

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"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
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Wednesday, November 26

SUNRISE CEREMONY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buy your tickets now.

happy thanks-taking

- tiwala at 5:18 PM

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Monday, November 24

from today's email: apparently the feds are trying to round up leaders of protests.

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"For Immediate Release: November 23, 2003

Faced with growing opposition to the war and occupation of Iraq, the Bush Administration has unleashed the FBI against its political opponents. Ten days before the October 25 demonstration that drew 100,000 people in Washington DC marching under the slogan, 'Bring the Troops Home Now!' the FBI circulated an internal bureau memorandum documenting a far reaching campaign against anti-war organizations and leaders who have been involved in mobilizing large
and legal mass actions.

'Under Bush and Ashcroft the exercise of First Amendment rights has become synonymous with terrorism. Today's front page report in the New York Times
revealing that the FBI was targeting the recent national anti-war demonstrations in Washington and San Francisco must be understood as the tip of the iceberg,' said Mara Verheyden-Hilliard attorney with the Partnership for Civil Justice and the National Lawyers Guild. The Partnership for Civil Justice and the NLG are litigating First Amendment cases against the FBI, Secret Service and Washington DC police as well as other law enforcement authorities for their unconstitutional disruption actions against political demonstrators.

'Under the banner of the war on terrorism, Bush and Ashcroft are resorting to J. Edgar Hoover's COINTELPRO tactics of the 1950's and 1960's against the rising
anti-war movement of today,' stated Brian Becker of the A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition, the initiator and co-sponsor of the October 25 demonstration. 'This is the domestic parallel of Bush's doctrine of endless war. Internationally, the administration has carried out war, invasion and occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq. On the homefront the government has cynically manipulated its so-called war on terrorism to illegally use the FBI as a tool aimed at stifling dissent. The movement will defend its rights, and will never be intimidated by the FBI's illegal targeting campaigns. Confronted with a rising tide of opposition, the Bush Administration is using its
secret police against the people of the United States,' Becker continued

'The FBI's so-called anti-terrorism efforts have intensely focused on political dissent since the resurgence of the U.S. social justice and peace movement. The big lie being foisted on the public is that these are post-September 11 counter-measures, when in fact we have uncovered in litigation that the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force as well as the District of Columbia police department have been conducting illegal domestic spying operations against political groups and activists since well before
September 11, 2001,' stated Verheyden-Hilliard. 'This has nothing to do with terrorism and everything to do with using the repressive apparatus of the state as a political tool,' she said."

Email circulated by:
A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition
Act Now to Stop War & End Racism
http://www.InternationalANSWER.org

- tiwala at 3:48 PM

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Friday, November 21

EMINEM IS A RACIST ASSHOLE. CASE & POINT.

i'm tired of people who laud this trashy asshole as an "ill lyricist" & therefore EXCUSE him for saying/doing whatever the fuck he wants. it's fucking shallow how people measure sellin talent over integrity, over abuse & violence (i.e. kobe & r.kelly). what the fuck kind of culture promotes avarice, vanity, & hate speech at the expense of the fragile identity of marginalized communities, more specifically women of color who dwell in the very bottom of a malevolent power built by white patriarchy. DON'T EXCUSE HIS ASS!!! he's nothin but a repugnant mouthpiece of the system; he promotes the same shit that CNN does in a class war against people of color- SPEAK OF DESTRUCTION.

lyrics are not just mere "words": speech is a manifestation of your core. and in this case, marshall mathers has now been exposed as a tool for degradation.

lyrics are below... but read the rest of this article from davey d:

"I make music to make you sick of fake music,
Hate music like devil worship and Satan music."

"Look at these eyes baby blue baby just like yourself
If they were brown Shady lose Shady sits on the shelf
Let’s do the math: if I was Black I would’ve sold half
I didn’t have to graduate from Lincoln High School to know that."

"I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do Black music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy."

- Eminem

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EMINEM circa 1993

Track 1
There's so many styles I might get thrown
And here’s the place where I like to roam
And all the girls that I like to bone
Have the big butts, no they don’t
‘Cause I don’t like that nigger @#%$
I’m just here to make a bigger hit
When I be kickin the hypest, dopest rhyme
Just say that Eminem is the best MC of all times... Yeah!
I’m running out of breath so here’s Chaos Kid with the flow of death

Track 2
I seen a Black girlfriend and I kissed her
I kissed her; I placed it on her cheek
And she didn’t come back til next week

Now it was next week and she was back again
Wanting to kiss a white kid
So she was my girlfriend, we started going out
But that’s okay because we were Black and white
Blacks and whites they sometimes mix
But Black girls only want your money cause they’re dumb chicks
So I’ma say like this
Don’t date a Black girl, take it as a diss
If you want, but if you don’t
I’ma tell you like this, I surely won’t
Never date a Black girl because Blacks only want your money
And that @#%$ aint funny

So I’ma say look honey
Why do you do this?
You know, you step up to me like you a Brutus
Then you try to grab my spinach
Because its green and that’s cash
So get outta here, ’cause I don’t need your ass
I said that before, but that’s okay because like I said you’re a whore
Black girls and white girls just don’t mix
Because Black girls are dumb and white girls are good chicks
White girls are good; I like white girls
I like white girls all over the world
White girls are fine and they blow my mind
And that’s why I’m here now telling you this rhyme
’Cause Black girls, I really don’t like
We don’t mix, it’s like riding a bike
When you’re peddling hard, uphill both ways
You know it’s kinda hard and that’s why I say to you
I’m giving you a little advice
Don’t date a Black girl, if you do it once you won’t do it twice
You won’t ever do it again because they’ll take your money
And that aint funny
So I’ma say look honey
I thought he said that before
But like I said again you’re nothing but a big whore
So when mike catch on the bass line
That’s okay ‘cause we will not just waste time

I’ll get straight to the point
Black girls are bitches, that’s why I’ma tell ya you better pull up your britches
‘Cause all that cash is making your ass drag
From the boyfriend ya ganked and that’s pretty bad
I mean that’s pretty sad when ya dating a Black guy
And then you turn around a @#%$ another big, Black guy
Now that’s pretty wrong, but you’re just ganking
But that’s okay because you need a @#%$ spanking
From me, the funky Eminem
I’m busting rhymes and I’m swallowing phlegm
I’m busting a freestyle just like this
I say swallowing phlegm and Howard gets pissed
But when Howard gets pissed that’s okay
Because he leaves and he doesn’t show up for two more days
So I’ll just worry about that problem when I come to it
I cross that bridge when I come to it

Because, I forgot the chorus
But that’s okay ’cause y’all saying bust a rhyme for us
So I’ma bust another rhyme about this Black girl
She turned out to be a @#%$ wack girl
A wack girl, because Black girls ain’t funny
All they want is your @#%$ money
They take you for everything you got
And then you stand with a bunch of snot in your hand
So I’ma kick it to you just like this
How does the chorus go, I forgot
But that’s okay, ’cause I’ma tell you in stride
I’ma say oh foolish pride

Oh foolish pride, oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh
Date a white girl, ’cause they got the raw hide...

- tiwala at 12:17 PM

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happy happy burfday leslie ferrer espinosa- buttabug foreva! i love you sis!! (random fact: i was born a month & 9 days after the new year (feb.9) & leslie was born a month & 9 days before the new year (nov.21)... i don't even know how we started calculating that haha.....)

- tiwala at 11:30 AM

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Thursday, November 20

protestors in london pull down a bush statue holding a bomb!
their reaction to his UK visit this week (trafalgar square)

- tiwala at 12:54 PM

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*** sunrise ceremony for UN-THANKSGIVING on alcatraz ***
a gathering in solidarity with the native american indigenous community,
representing the unity & roots of the movement & commitment to struggle & resistance.

san francisco, ca - thurs. 11.27.03
organized by international indian treaty council
415.641.4482

itinerary & purchase tickets HERE.
(catch me on the 6:20 a.m. boat)

"Thanksgiving is the quintessential colonizers' holiday. It celebrates the first firm foothold of the Puritans on North America, a land already populated by indigenous peoples. The early history of these ttlements were characterized by massacres rather than the myth of mutual cooperation that is called Thanksgiving."
-Noenoe K. Silva

"Today on Thanksgiving we bring you an hour long talk from one of the country's most respected historians, Howard Zinn. In his classic People's History of the United States Zinn breaks down the myths around the history of Thanksgiving.

He writes, ' When the Pilgrims came to New England they too were coming not to vacant land but to territory inhabited by tribes of Indians. The governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, John Winthrop, created the excuse to take Indian land by declaring the area legally a ' vacuum.' The Indians, he said, had not ' subdued ' the land, and therefore had only a ' natural ' right to it, but not a ' civil right.' A ' natural right ' did not have legal standing.'

Zinn goes on to report how the Europeans succeeded in almost annihilating the native population. Zinn quotes a Dutch traveler in New Netherland in 1656 who wrote, ' the Indians before the arrival of the Christians, and before the smallpox broke out amongst them, were ten times as numerous as they now are their population has been melted down by this disease nine-tenths of them have died.'

Zinn estimates that approximately 10 million native peoples lived in the Americas before the discovery of the New World by Columbus. A couple of centuries later less than a million remain."
-DemocracyNow

- tiwala at 11:33 AM

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i always seem to blog in waves:
i post every day for a few weeks, then stop for a few weeks. what the heez.

so... big changes:

i'm moving out of san francisco in feb. when the lease on my studio ends. my family lives in san diego, but i'll be moving to LA ( i don't want to live *that* close to them, but i'll be close enough.) i need to be more accessible to my parents, & here's why:

1) my dad just had a biopsy & might have prostate cancer... i want to be around more often.
2) my mom is suffering from empty nest syndrome since all my siblings have moved out of the house.... the only thing she had was my dog, but recently my dog just got hit by a car & DIED. DAMMIT.
3) i have 2 older brothers who don't really like taking my mom out; they'd rather watch sports.
4) my man lives in LA & i want him to chill with my fams when i visit them.

i *really* don't like LA, but i think i'll live there for a year or 2 before another relocation: either to NY, back to SF, or another country for some community work.

i'm not going to brazil as planned, but hopefully to palestine next summer. lover is palestinian & wants me to go with him... i bet you my parents will TRIP OUT & talk about how dangerous it is. and i'll say, "it's coo mom, i have pepper spray." although it's still not enough to stop israeli tanks from bulldozing people's homes.

another update later!

- tiwala at 9:23 AM

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Friday, November 7

song in my head: "submerge: til we become the sun" by maxwell.
i swear, his voice is fuckin hypnotic. download it if ya can.... just don't get arrested:

Over to under
Enter your wonder baby
Submerge into me baby
And take me to higher
Submerge within the light
Illuminate my night
And let your atmosphere surround me
Submerge within the light all night
Till we become the sun

See if I’m breathing
Because I’m not sure
Tonight if I’m alive
Words are demeaning
They can’t describe
Submerge within the light
Til we become the sun

i love him!!!

- tiwala at 3:10 PM

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TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE THIS SATURDAY NIGHT @ 8:06 pm (last 24 minutes).
the moon will look like a dark red-orange coal... i like it.

- tiwala at 3:02 PM

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Thursday, November 6

MATT GONZALEZ REALLY needs to be san francisco's mayor.

- tiwala at 4:48 PM

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anti-gavin newsom
(for non-san francisco heads, newsom is in the run-off for mayor... this guy can lick my booty hole.

Ten Toothsome Reasons to Vote for Gavin

1. In these times of financial uncertainty, this city needs a leader who can relate to the wealthy and help them through the drastic layoffs they will need to institute in order to insulate their wealth.

2. Gavin successfully raised $750,000 to support proposition N, money that might have otherwise been wasted on charity for drug addicted, mentally ill, rude and generally ungrateful bums.

3. Gavin has endured hardship and can understand the problems of the ordinary citizen. Who among us hasn't had their fiancé stolen by Don Johnson? We all understand that pain.

4. Gavin's love of dogs speaks to the tens of San Franciscans who make their political decisions solely based on the needs of their pets.

5. The man has excellent hygiene and is very good looking. Nothing inspires confidence in a leader more than physical attractiveness and a well-cared-for set of teeth.

6. Gavin got his start in the wine business in San Francisco. Really, if you don't like wine, what are you doing in this happy hot-tub of a city anyway?

7. Politically, Gavin started out in the Dept. of parking and traffic. He was by far the best looking employee of that department. Go in and take a look some time if you doubt us.

8. Remember the Jefferson Airplane? Gavin now is part owner of the bar that they started, long before he was born. Of course, no underground rock acts perform there now, but it's good that he's keeping a San Francisco tradition alive.

9. Gavin Newsom is a brave man. He lives only a few miles from one of the most dangerous nuclear waste spills in the U.S. - hunter's point - and he still does his part to help clean up the streets.

10. Again, a man of the people. We've all dated a victoria's secret model once or twice.

more gavin comments listed here.

newsom: spoiled rich kid mouthpiece for the elite

- tiwala at 4:41 PM

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speech of my lover:

"You're the mesmerizing innate hiatus between each breath & every pulse inside of me. It feels hella good to embody you."
"I'm yearning for you. I want to dive into you."
"My heart just dropped to my spine."
"You're my healer. You're my sustainer."
"I love you so much that it spills out. Every day I walk in this puddle of you."

woo me till i'm asthmatic ("cuz you're so fucking romantic" - goapele)

yeah i know this makes u (the blog reader) wanna barf. don't mind me in my euphoric state of complete surrender. i'm hella in love yo!

--ribcaged butterflies flap upon thoughts of this coming monday's initial touch to rectify inhibited love muffled by our long distances... anxious to explode into the heavens with you, Praise God for the divine splendor manifested into your material frame.--

- tiwala at 12:54 PM

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the overkill of bill
By Jamal Dajani

"My teenage son and his friend can't stop talking about 'Kill Bill,' the recent film by Quentin Tarantino. Heads and limbs chopped off by swords, blood splattering all over the screen – to me, it was overkill. But when we went to see the film, the crowd exploded with joy at such scenes. No doubt there will be a sequel, and scores of people will gladly line up to hand over their $9.50.

I'm no stranger to scenes of gruesome violence. I produce a news show called 'Mosaic: News from the Middle East' for Link TV. Since 9/11, I do not recall a peaceful week around the globe. Images of death and destruction are vivid on Arab satellite television networks. Yet here in the United States, our own television networks make exceptional efforts to shelter viewers from such real-life scenes.

Images of a Palestinian infant removed from beneath the rubble of an apartment building flattened by an Israeli missile; pictures of an Israeli bus driver's bloodied torso dangling outside his bus, blown to smithereens by a suicide bomber... dead Iraqi bodies after an errant smart bomb hit their neighborhood...

Meanwhile, millions of dollars are spent in Hollywood on visual effects to capture the best scenes simulating blood, gore, death and destruction. And millions of Americans snake in lines around movie houses, eager to receive their 90 minutes of thrill for just under 10 bucks."

classic entertainment.

- tiwala at 11:57 AM

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Monday, November 3

what the fuck.

Congress OKs $87 BILLION DOLLARS for War

as if we didn't pour out enough money for this bullshit. and of course media ONLY covers american deaths... they fail to mention the casualties of up to 9,000 civilians ever since the war broke out in march.

1 american soldier dead = per how many families who've been bulldozed or bombed. the justification lies in american lives mattering MORE - an issue of vanity, wealth, greed, & media manipulation to drag everyone along for the ride.....

true compassion lies in all who've been killed, not one weighing more than another. God's favor lies in the cries of the oppressed, & in this case, united sNakes & i$rael have the most blood on their hands.

- tiwala at 4:50 PM

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halloween party w/salumeh & janel's folks on friday.
2 joints, a bowl, & a thermos of hurricane ("but u can call me slurricane") = a swerved & blazed bloody panda. don't remember the last time i've been like that. it's not always a good thing.

on a better note,
lover & i are together now... as in, official.

yay!!!

we were beefin recently, but overcame & moved forward. i was in some heat... like HELLA HEAT, but got lucky because he forgave my pathetic ass. whew.

he'll be flying up for 2 days on monday, & i'm nervous. this is the first time i'll see him in person as his "girlfriend." shit is surreal. this is the most unconventional relationship i've been a part of.

- tiwala at 1:41 PM

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