xenophobia = fear of the foreigner

2004-01-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

peace yall- my webjournal has moved to http://www.myspace.com/
(search for me by typing in my email- lady@riseup.net)

it has:

journal
instant messenger
profile
pics
communal bulletin board
classifieds (jobby-jobs, etc)
counter
etc

AND-----

when the server is down, you can play PACMAN!
(ok, maybe i'm the only one who thought that was dope.)

been almost 2 years on blogger, time to move on, ya feel.....?

PEACE AND BLESSINGS bredren sistren
much much respect

tiwala
aka shadylady.

2003-11-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

SUNRISE CEREMONY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buy your tickets now.

happy thanks-taking

2003-11-24T15:48:00.000-08:00

from today's email: apparently the feds are trying to round up leaders of protests.

----------
"For Immediate Release: November 23, 2003

Faced with growing opposition to the war and occupation of Iraq, the Bush Administration has unleashed the FBI against its political opponents. Ten days before the October 25 demonstration that drew 100,000 people in Washington DC marching under the slogan, 'Bring the Troops Home Now!' the FBI circulated an internal bureau memorandum documenting a far reaching campaign against anti-war organizations and leaders who have been involved in mobilizing large
and legal mass actions.

'Under Bush and Ashcroft the exercise of First Amendment rights has become synonymous with terrorism. Today's front page report in the New York Times
revealing that the FBI was targeting the recent national anti-war demonstrations in Washington and San Francisco must be understood as the tip of the iceberg,' said Mara Verheyden-Hilliard attorney with the Partnership for Civil Justice and the National Lawyers Guild. The Partnership for Civil Justice and the NLG are litigating First Amendment cases against the FBI, Secret Service and Washington DC police as well as other law enforcement authorities for their unconstitutional disruption actions against political demonstrators.

'Under the banner of the war on terrorism, Bush and Ashcroft are resorting to J. Edgar Hoover's COINTELPRO tactics of the 1950's and 1960's against the rising
anti-war movement of today,' stated Brian Becker of the A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition, the initiator and co-sponsor of the October 25 demonstration. 'This is the domestic parallel of Bush's doctrine of endless war. Internationally, the administration has carried out war, invasion and occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq. On the homefront the government has cynically manipulated its so-called war on terrorism to illegally use the FBI as a tool aimed at stifling dissent. The movement will defend its rights, and will never be intimidated by the FBI's illegal targeting campaigns. Confronted with a rising tide of opposition, the Bush Administration is using its
secret police against the people of the United States,' Becker continued

'The FBI's so-called anti-terrorism efforts have intensely focused on political dissent since the resurgence of the U.S. social justice and peace movement. The big lie being foisted on the public is that these are post-September 11 counter-measures, when in fact we have uncovered in litigation that the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force as well as the District of Columbia police department have been conducting illegal domestic spying operations against political groups and activists since well before
September 11, 2001,' stated Verheyden-Hilliard. 'This has nothing to do with terrorism and everything to do with using the repressive apparatus of the state as a political tool,' she said."

Email circulated by:
A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition
Act Now to Stop War & End Racism
http://www.InternationalANSWER.org

2003-11-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

EMINEM IS A RACIST ASSHOLE. CASE & POINT.

i'm tired of people who laud this trashy asshole as an "ill lyricist" & therefore EXCUSE him for saying/doing whatever the fuck he wants. it's fucking shallow how people measure sellin talent over integrity, over abuse & violence (i.e. kobe & r.kelly). what the fuck kind of culture promotes avarice, vanity, & hate speech at the expense of the fragile identity of marginalized communities, more specifically women of color who dwell in the very bottom of a malevolent power built by white patriarchy. DON'T EXCUSE HIS ASS!!! he's nothin but a repugnant mouthpiece of the system; he promotes the same shit that CNN does in a class war against people of color- SPEAK OF DESTRUCTION.

lyrics are not just mere "words": speech is a manifestation of your core. and in this case, marshall mathers has now been exposed as a tool for degradation.

lyrics are below... but read the rest of this article from davey d:

"I make music to make you sick of fake music,
Hate music like devil worship and Satan music."

"Look at these eyes baby blue baby just like yourself
If they were brown Shady lose Shady sits on the shelf
Let’s do the math: if I was Black I would’ve sold half
I didn’t have to graduate from Lincoln High School to know that."

"I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do Black music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy."

- Eminem

----------------------

EMINEM circa 1993

Track 1
There's so many styles I might get thrown
And here’s the place where I like to roam
And all the girls that I like to bone
Have the big butts, no they don’t
‘Cause I don’t like that nigger @#%$
I’m just here to make a bigger hit
When I be kickin the hypest, dopest rhyme
Just say that Eminem is the best MC of all times... Yeah!
I’m running out of breath so here’s Chaos Kid with the flow of death

Track 2
I seen a Black girlfriend and I kissed her
I kissed her; I placed it on her cheek
And she didn’t come back til next week

Now it was next week and she was back again
Wanting to kiss a white kid
So she was my girlfriend, we started going out
But that’s okay because we were Black and white
Blacks and whites they sometimes mix
But Black girls only want your money cause they’re dumb chicks
So I’ma say like this
Don’t date a Black girl, take it as a diss
If you want, but if you don’t
I’ma tell you like this, I surely won’t
Never date a Black girl because Blacks only want your money
And that @#%$ aint funny

So I’ma say look honey
Why do you do this?
You know, you step up to me like you a Brutus
Then you try to grab my spinach
Because its green and that’s cash
So get outta here, ’cause I don’t need your ass
I said that before, but that’s okay because like I said you’re a whore
Black girls and white girls just don’t mix
Because Black girls are dumb and white girls are good chicks
White girls are good; I like white girls
I like white girls all over the world
White girls are fine and they blow my mind
And that’s why I’m here now telling you this rhyme
’Cause Black girls, I really don’t like
We don’t mix, it’s like riding a bike
When you’re peddling hard, uphill both ways
You know it’s kinda hard and that’s why I say to you
I’m giving you a little advice
Don’t date a Black girl, if you do it once you won’t do it twice
You won’t ever do it again because they’ll take your money
And that aint funny
So I’ma say look honey
I thought he said that before
But like I said again you’re nothing but a big whore
So when mike catch on the bass line
That’s okay ‘cause we will not just waste time

I’ll get straight to the point
Black girls are bitches, that’s why I’ma tell ya you better pull up your britches
‘Cause all that cash is making your ass drag
From the boyfriend ya ganked and that’s pretty bad
I mean that’s pretty sad when ya dating a Black guy
And then you turn around a @#%$ another big, Black guy
Now that’s pretty wrong, but you’re just ganking
But that’s okay because you need a @#%$ spanking
From me, the funky Eminem
I’m busting rhymes and I’m swallowing phlegm
I’m busting a freestyle just like this
I say swallowing phlegm and Howard gets pissed
But when Howard gets pissed that’s okay
Because he leaves and he doesn’t show up for two more days
So I’ll just worry about that problem when I come to it
I cross that bridge when I come to it

Because, I forgot the chorus
But that’s okay ’cause y’all saying bust a rhyme for us
So I’ma bust another rhyme about this Black girl
She turned out to be a @#%$ wack girl
A wack girl, because Black girls ain’t funny
All they want is your @#%$ money
They take you for everything you got
And then you stand with a bunch of snot in your hand
So I’ma kick it to you just like this
How does the chorus go, I forgot
But that’s okay, ’cause I’ma tell you in stride
I’ma say oh foolish pride

Oh foolish pride, oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride
oh, oh, oh, oh foolish pride; oh, oh, oh
Date a white girl, ’cause they got the raw hide...

2003-11-21T11:30:00.000-08:00

happy happy burfday leslie ferrer espinosa- buttabug foreva! i love you sis!! (random fact: i was born a month & 9 days after the new year (feb.9) & leslie was born a month & 9 days before the new year (nov.21)... i don't even know how we started calculating that haha.....)

2003-11-20T12:54:00.000-08:00

protestors in london pull down a bush statue holding a bomb!
their reaction to his UK visit this week (trafalgar square)

2003-11-20T11:33:00.000-08:00

*** sunrise ceremony for UN-THANKSGIVING on alcatraz ***
a gathering in solidarity with the native american indigenous community,
representing the unity & roots of the movement & commitment to struggle & resistance.

san francisco, ca - thurs. 11.27.03
organized by international indian treaty council
415.641.4482

itinerary & purchase tickets HERE.
(catch me on the 6:20 a.m. boat)

"Thanksgiving is the quintessential colonizers' holiday. It celebrates the first firm foothold of the Puritans on North America, a land already populated by indigenous peoples. The early history of these ttlements were characterized by massacres rather than the myth of mutual cooperation that is called Thanksgiving."
-Noenoe K. Silva

"Today on Thanksgiving we bring you an hour long talk from one of the country's most respected historians, Howard Zinn. In his classic People's History of the United States Zinn breaks down the myths around the history of Thanksgiving.

He writes, ' When the Pilgrims came to New England they too were coming not to vacant land but to territory inhabited by tribes of Indians. The governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, John Winthrop, created the excuse to take Indian land by declaring the area legally a ' vacuum.' The Indians, he said, had not ' subdued ' the land, and therefore had only a ' natural ' right to it, but not a ' civil right.' A ' natural right ' did not have legal standing.'

Zinn goes on to report how the Europeans succeeded in almost annihilating the native population. Zinn quotes a Dutch traveler in New Netherland in 1656 who wrote, ' the Indians before the arrival of the Christians, and before the smallpox broke out amongst them, were ten times as numerous as they now are their population has been melted down by this disease nine-tenths of them have died.'

Zinn estimates that approximately 10 million native peoples lived in the Americas before the discovery of the New World by Columbus. A couple of centuries later less than a million remain."
-DemocracyNow

2003-11-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

i always seem to blog in waves:
i post every day for a few weeks, then stop for a few weeks. what the heez.

so... big changes:

i'm moving out of san francisco in feb. when the lease on my studio ends. my family lives in san diego, but i'll be moving to LA ( i don't want to live *that* close to them, but i'll be close enough.) i need to be more accessible to my parents, & here's why:

1) my dad just had a biopsy & might have prostate cancer... i want to be around more often.
2) my mom is suffering from empty nest syndrome since all my siblings have moved out of the house.... the only thing she had was my dog, but recently my dog just got hit by a car & DIED. DAMMIT.
3) i have 2 older brothers who don't really like taking my mom out; they'd rather watch sports.
4) my man lives in LA & i want him to chill with my fams when i visit them.

i *really* don't like LA, but i think i'll live there for a year or 2 before another relocation: either to NY, back to SF, or another country for some community work.

i'm not going to brazil as planned, but hopefully to palestine next summer. lover is palestinian & wants me to go with him... i bet you my parents will TRIP OUT & talk about how dangerous it is. and i'll say, "it's coo mom, i have pepper spray." although it's still not enough to stop israeli tanks from bulldozing people's homes.

another update later!

2003-11-07T15:10:00.000-08:00

song in my head: "submerge: til we become the sun" by maxwell.
i swear, his voice is fuckin hypnotic. download it if ya can.... just don't get arrested:

Over to under
Enter your wonder baby
Submerge into me baby
And take me to higher
Submerge within the light
Illuminate my night
And let your atmosphere surround me
Submerge within the light all night
Till we become the sun

See if I’m breathing
Because I’m not sure
Tonight if I’m alive
Words are demeaning
They can’t describe
Submerge within the light
Til we become the sun

i love him!!!

2003-11-07T15:02:00.000-08:00

TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE THIS SATURDAY NIGHT @ 8:06 pm (last 24 minutes).
the moon will look like a dark red-orange coal... i like it.

2003-11-06T16:48:00.000-08:00

MATT GONZALEZ REALLY needs to be san francisco's mayor.

2003-11-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

anti-gavin newsom
(for non-san francisco heads, newsom is in the run-off for mayor... this guy can lick my booty hole.

Ten Toothsome Reasons to Vote for Gavin

1. In these times of financial uncertainty, this city needs a leader who can relate to the wealthy and help them through the drastic layoffs they will need to institute in order to insulate their wealth.

2. Gavin successfully raised $750,000 to support proposition N, money that might have otherwise been wasted on charity for drug addicted, mentally ill, rude and generally ungrateful bums.

3. Gavin has endured hardship and can understand the problems of the ordinary citizen. Who among us hasn't had their fiancé stolen by Don Johnson? We all understand that pain.

4. Gavin's love of dogs speaks to the tens of San Franciscans who make their political decisions solely based on the needs of their pets.

5. The man has excellent hygiene and is very good looking. Nothing inspires confidence in a leader more than physical attractiveness and a well-cared-for set of teeth.

6. Gavin got his start in the wine business in San Francisco. Really, if you don't like wine, what are you doing in this happy hot-tub of a city anyway?

7. Politically, Gavin started out in the Dept. of parking and traffic. He was by far the best looking employee of that department. Go in and take a look some time if you doubt us.

8. Remember the Jefferson Airplane? Gavin now is part owner of the bar that they started, long before he was born. Of course, no underground rock acts perform there now, but it's good that he's keeping a San Francisco tradition alive.

9. Gavin Newsom is a brave man. He lives only a few miles from one of the most dangerous nuclear waste spills in the U.S. - hunter's point - and he still does his part to help clean up the streets.

10. Again, a man of the people. We've all dated a victoria's secret model once or twice.

more gavin comments listed here.

newsom: spoiled rich kid mouthpiece for the elite

2003-11-06T12:54:00.000-08:00

speech of my lover:

"You're the mesmerizing innate hiatus between each breath & every pulse inside of me. It feels hella good to embody you."
"I'm yearning for you. I want to dive into you."
"My heart just dropped to my spine."
"You're my healer. You're my sustainer."
"I love you so much that it spills out. Every day I walk in this puddle of you."

woo me till i'm asthmatic ("cuz you're so fucking romantic" - goapele)

yeah i know this makes u (the blog reader) wanna barf. don't mind me in my euphoric state of complete surrender. i'm hella in love yo!

--ribcaged butterflies flap upon thoughts of this coming monday's initial touch to rectify inhibited love muffled by our long distances... anxious to explode into the heavens with you, Praise God for the divine splendor manifested into your material frame.--

2003-11-06T11:57:00.000-08:00

the overkill of bill
By Jamal Dajani

"My teenage son and his friend can't stop talking about 'Kill Bill,' the recent film by Quentin Tarantino. Heads and limbs chopped off by swords, blood splattering all over the screen – to me, it was overkill. But when we went to see the film, the crowd exploded with joy at such scenes. No doubt there will be a sequel, and scores of people will gladly line up to hand over their $9.50.

I'm no stranger to scenes of gruesome violence. I produce a news show called 'Mosaic: News from the Middle East' for Link TV. Since 9/11, I do not recall a peaceful week around the globe. Images of death and destruction are vivid on Arab satellite television networks. Yet here in the United States, our own television networks make exceptional efforts to shelter viewers from such real-life scenes.

Images of a Palestinian infant removed from beneath the rubble of an apartment building flattened by an Israeli missile; pictures of an Israeli bus driver's bloodied torso dangling outside his bus, blown to smithereens by a suicide bomber... dead Iraqi bodies after an errant smart bomb hit their neighborhood...

Meanwhile, millions of dollars are spent in Hollywood on visual effects to capture the best scenes simulating blood, gore, death and destruction. And millions of Americans snake in lines around movie houses, eager to receive their 90 minutes of thrill for just under 10 bucks."

classic entertainment.

2003-11-03T16:50:00.000-08:00

what the fuck.

Congress OKs $87 BILLION DOLLARS for War

as if we didn't pour out enough money for this bullshit. and of course media ONLY covers american deaths... they fail to mention the casualties of up to 9,000 civilians ever since the war broke out in march.

1 american soldier dead = per how many families who've been bulldozed or bombed. the justification lies in american lives mattering MORE - an issue of vanity, wealth, greed, & media manipulation to drag everyone along for the ride.....

true compassion lies in all who've been killed, not one weighing more than another. God's favor lies in the cries of the oppressed, & in this case, united sNakes & i$rael have the most blood on their hands.

2003-11-03T13:41:00.000-08:00

halloween party w/salumeh & janel's folks on friday.
2 joints, a bowl, & a thermos of hurricane ("but u can call me slurricane") = a swerved & blazed bloody panda. don't remember the last time i've been like that. it's not always a good thing.

on a better note,
lover & i are together now... as in, official.

yay!!!

we were beefin recently, but overcame & moved forward. i was in some heat... like HELLA HEAT, but got lucky because he forgave my pathetic ass. whew.

he'll be flying up for 2 days on monday, & i'm nervous. this is the first time i'll see him in person as his "girlfriend." shit is surreal. this is the most unconventional relationship i've been a part of.

2003-10-31T14:33:00.000-08:00

1) black face coloring on my nose & around my eyes (droopy)
2) twisted my hair into 2 balls on top
3) streaks of blood on my face

= ingredients of............ A BLOODY PANDA!
despicable!

(evolution of my costume)

2003-10-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

i have to keep telling myself this mantra:
to love being in love.

i get fearful sometimes, as u can tell.

anyway, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! no sign of rain (yet) in SF, just sun & clouds.

2003-10-30T17:11:00.000-08:00

so relationships are scary, blah blah blah.
i'm in love, fuck it. let go of tha issues. bite the bullet & take it... appreciate it.

the forecast said it might rain on halloween in frisko :(

2003-10-30T16:55:00.000-08:00

i wanted to wear ALL black, as in a ski mask too.
but i figure people might be a little too sensitive to the terrorist look.

2003-10-29T16:08:00.000-08:00

it's halloween week!

on friday, i'll be dressed all in black
& call myself an eyelash.

wear black lipstick too, says habibi.

2003-10-29T16:06:00.000-08:00

ramadan is not easy.

i think my boss is wonderin about my energy level these days.

2003-10-28T14:37:00.000-08:00

update on the so-cal BLAZIN FIRES:

- my bro & sis-in-law were able to move back in their house! their area seems to be safe... the house is surrounded by a lake (dope huh.)
- 10,000 firefighters up in the mix, from cali, arizona, & nevada
- currently burned down 3/4 size of rhode island
- bout 1,600 homes reduced to ash

mother nature's pissed!

2003-10-27T21:06:00.000-08:00

he said on saturday, "i love you"... plus other intense proclamations.

emotions are becoming HEAVILY reciprocated, & i'm scared. it's a long-distance relationship too: san francisco & LA. plus he might move to new york for liberal arts, & i might be in brazil next year for an extended period. what the heez did i get myself into?? i'm hella sprung already & it's too late to backtrack. stupid, stupid me.

2003-10-27T20:58:00.000-08:00

i've been lethargic for the past 2 days. the lover is muslim & encouraged me to fast for Ramadan. can't eat OR DRINK while the sun is up. i don't think i've ever done this sort of dieting before in my life... it's a spiritual commitment to purify.

as a Christian, i'm making this covenant to test my devotion to God. i find myself praying more often because i need strength... and physical strength is only a reflection of my spiritual strength as well. hunger pains & dizziness make me realize my priorities & is making me closer to those who suffer daily. at least i have a choice to eat... most don't. and when i do eat, it's soooo worth it. i never knew how much i take food for granted, let alone WATER. it's a great feeling, when you go without it for 12 hours every day. daayam.

i hope i can last the whole month. it's hecka hard... especially for me, i'm such a glutton.

2003-10-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

pray for my parents, family & friends in san diego.... insha'allah they don't get hurt.

it's raining ash, stinging eyes & throats, schools & freeways are closed. fires have already burned down the size of half of rhode island. my dog used to be white, now he's grey. my parent's house is layered with soot & ash. my brother & sister-in-law had to evacuate their house today, 30,000 more homes in danger. fuck.

i live in san francisco, my family's in san diego. my momma hit me up today @ work & was panicking over the phone. i want to go down there... for peace of mind purposes... but it's not a good idea to get closer to danger. what do u do in this situation... i mean if things get serious. just sit on my ass and hope & pray that the fire doesn't touch my family? sometimes i get these superhero moments where i just want it to stop... but it's nearly impossible to just hose it down myself. i hate feeling incapacitated, like i can't make things better.

blazing fires in so-cal

first arnold, now this? what's wrong california.
please don't tell me it's some apocalyptic shiz.

2003-10-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

"state of siege" by palestinian poet mahmoud darwish
jan. 2002 in ramallah, political capital of the palestinian national authority since 1994

"Here, where the hills slope before the sunset and the chasm of time
near gardens whose shades have been cast aside
we do what prisoners do
we do what the jobless do
we sow hope

In a land where the dawn sears
we have become more doltish
and we stare at the moments of victory
there is no starry night in our nights of explosions
our enemies stay up late, they switch on the lights
in the intense darkness of this tunnel

Here after the poems of Job, we wait no more

This siege will persist until we teach our enemies
models of our finest poetry

the sky is leaden during the day
and a fiery orange at night… but our hearts
are as neutral as the flowery emblems on a shield

here, not “I”
Here, Adam remembers the clay of which he was born

He says, on the verge of death, he says,
“I have no more earth to lose”
Free am I, close to my ultimate freedom, I hold my fortune in my own hands
In a few moments, I will begin my life
born free of father and mother
I will chose letters of sky blue for my name

Under siege, life is the moment between remembrance
of the first moment, and forgetfulness of the last

here, under the mountains of smoke, on the threshold of my home,
time has no measure
We do what those who give up the ghost do…
we forget our pain

Pain is when the housewife forsakes hanging up the clothes to dry and is content
that this flag of Palestine should be without stain

There is no Homeric echo here
Myths come knocking on our door when we need them
There is no Homeric echo here… only a general
looking through the rubble for the awakening state
concealed within the galloping horse from Troy

The soldiers measure the space between being and nothingness
with field-glasses behind a tank’s armoury

We measure the space between our bodies and the coming rockets
with our sixth sense alone

You there, by the threshold of our door
Come in, and sip with us our Arabic coffee
[you may even feel that you are human, just as we are]
you there, by the threshold of our door
take your rockets away from our mornings
we may then feel secure
[and almost human]

We may find time for relaxation and fine art
We may play cards, and read our newspapers
Catching up on the news of our wounded past
and we may look up our star signs in the year
two thousand and two, the camera smiles
to those born under the sign of the siege

Whenever yesterday comes to me, I say to her,
Now’s not the right time. Go
and come tomorrow!

I wrack my head, but uselessly.
What can someone like me think of, there,
on the tip of the hillside, for the past 3 thousand years,
and in this passing moment?
My thoughts slay me
my memory awakens me

When the helicopters disappear the doves fly back
white, very white, marking the cheeks of the horizon
with liberated wings. They revive their radiance and their ownership
of the sky, and of playfulness. Higher and higher they fly,
the doves, very white. ‘O that the sky
was real’ [a man passing between two bombs cried]
A sparkling sky, a vision, lightning!
all very similar….
soon I will know if this is indeed
a revelation
or my close friends will know that the poem
has gone, and yoked its poet

[to a critic]: Don’t interpret my words
as you stir the sugar in your cup, or munch your breast of chicken!
Words put me under siege in my sleep…
the words I did not utter.
They write me, then leave me searching for the remains of my sleep

The evergreen Cypresses behind the soldiers are minarets protecting
the sky from falling. Behind the barbed wire
are soldiers urinating- protected by a tank.
The Autumn day completes its golden stroll on the pavements of
a street as empty as a church after Sunday prayers

Tomorrow we will love life.
When tomorrow comes, life will be something to adore
just as it is, ordinary, or tricky
gray, or colourful…stripped of judgement day and purgatory…
and if joy is a necessity
let it be
light on the heart and the back
Once embittered by joy, twice shy

A satirical writer said to me:
If I knew the end of the story at the very beginning
there would be nothing to laugh about!

[To a killer:] If you reflected upon the face
of the victim you slew, you would have remembered your mother in the room
full of gas. You would have freed yourself
of the bullet’s wisdom,
and changed your mind: ‘I will never find myself thus.’

[To another killer:] If you left the foetus thirty days
in its mother’s womb, things would have been different.
The occupation would be over and this suckling infant
would forget the time of the siege
and grow up a healthy child
reading at school, with one of your daughters
the ancient history of Asia.
They might even fall in love
and give birth to a daughter [she would be Jewish by birth].
What, then, have you done now?
Your daughter is now a widow
and your granddaughter an orphan.
What have you done with your scattered family?
And how have you slain three doves in one story?

This verse was not
really necessary. Forget about the refrain
and forget about being economical with the pain.
It’s all superflous
like so much dross

The mist is darkness- a thick, white darkness
peeled by an orange, and a promising woman

The siege is lying in wait.
It is lying in wait on a tilted stairway
in the midst of a storm.

We are alone. We are alone to the point
of drunkenness with our own aloneness,
with the occasional rainbow visiting.

We have brothers and sisters overseas..
kind sisters, who love us..
who look our way and weep.
And secretly they say
“I wish that siege was here, so that I could…”
But they cannot finish the sentence.
Do not leave us alone. No.
Do not leave us alone.

Our losses are between two and eight a day.
And ten are wounded.
Twenty homes are gone.
Forty olive groves destroyed,
in addition to the structural damage
afflicting the veins of the poem, the play,
and the unfinished painting.

In the alleyway, lit by an exiled lantern,
I see a refugee camp at the crossroads of the winds.
The south rebels against the wind.
The east is a west turned religious.
The west is a murderous truce minting the coinage of peace.
As for the north, the distant north,
it is not a place or a geographical vicinity.
It is the conference of heavenly divinity.

A woman said to a cloud: cover my dear one,
for my clothes are wet with his blood.

If you are not rain, o dear one,
then be a tree,
fertile and verdant. Be a tree.
And if not a tree, o dear one
be a stone
laden with dew. Be a stone.
And if not a stone, o dear one,
be the moon itself
in the dreams of she who loves you. Be the moon itself.
[thus a woman said
to her son, in his funeral]

O you who are sleepless tonight, did you not tire
of following the light in our story
and the red blaze in our blood?
Did you not tire, you who are sleepless tonight?

Standing here. Sitting here. Always here. Eternally here,
we have one aim and one aim only: to continue to be.
Beyond that aim we differ in all.
We differ on the form of the national flag (we would have done well if we had chosen
o living heart of mine, the symbol of a simple mule).
We differ on the words of the new anthem
(we would have done well to choose a song on the marriage of doves).
We differ on the duties of women
(we would have done well to choose a woman to run the security services).
We differ on proportions, public and private.
We differ on everything. We have one aim: to continue to be.
After fulfilling this aim, we will have time for other choices.

He said to me, on his way to jail,
“When I am released I will know that praise of nation
is like pouring scorn on nation-
a trade like any other!

A little of the infinite blue
suffices
to reduce the burden of our times
and cleanse the mud from this place right now

The spirit needs to improvise
and walk upon its silken soles
by my side, as hand in hand, two old friends
we share a crust of bread
and an old flask of wine
walking the path together,
then our days fork off into two separate paths:
I to the unknown, and she
sits squatting upon a high rock

[to a poet] Whenever the sunset eludes you
you are ensnared in the solitude of the gods.
Be ‘the essence’ of your lost subject
and the subject of your lost essence. Be present in your absence

He finds time for sarcasm:
My telephone has stopped ringing.
My doorbell has also stopped ringing.
So how did you know
that I am not here?

He finds time for song:
Waiting for you, I cannot wait
I cannot read Dostoyevsky
nor listen to Umm Kalthum, Maria Callas or another.
Waiting for you, the hands of the watch go from right
to left
to a time without a place.
Waiting for you, I didn’t wait for you.
I waited for eternity.

He asks her, “What kind of flower is your favourite?”
She says, “The carnation. The black carnation.”
He asks her, “And where will you take me, with those black carnations?”
She says, “To the abyss of life within me.”
She says, “Further, further, further.”

This siege will endure until the besiegers feel, like
the besieged
that anger
is an emotion like any other.

“I don’t love you. I don’t hate you,”
The prisoner said to the interrogator. “My heart is full
of that which is of no concern to you. My heart is full of the aroma of sage.
My heart is innocent, radiant, brimming.
There is no time in the heart for tests. No.
I do not love you. Who are you that I may give my love to you?
Are you part of my being? Are you a coffee rendezvous?
Are you the wind of the flute, and a song, that I may love you?
I hate imprisonment. But I do not hate you.”
Thus a prisoner said to the investigator. “My feelings are not your concern.
My emotions are my own private night…
my night which moves from bed to bed free of rhyme
and of double meanings!

We sat far from our destinies, like birds
which build their nests in cracks in statues
or in chimneys, or in tents
erected on the prince’s path at the time of the hunt

On my ruins the shadows grow green
and the wolf sleeps on a hybernating poem,
dreaming, like me, and like a guardian angel,
that life is pure and free of label

Myths refuse to amend their patterns.
Perhaps they were struck by a crack in the hull;
perhaps their ships have been stranded on
a land without a people.
Thus the idealist was overcome by the realist.
But the ships will not change their mould.
Whenever an unpleasant reality crosses their path
they demolish it with a bulldozer.
The colour of their truth dictates the text: she is beautiful,
white, without blemish.

[to a semi-orientalist] Let’s say things are the way you think they are -
that I am stupid, stupid, stupid
and that I cannot play golf
or understand high technology
nor can fly a plane!
Is that why you have ransomed my life to create yours?
If you were another - if I were another
we would have been a couple of friends who confessed our need for folly
But the fool, like Shylock the merchant,
consists of heart, and bread, and two frightened eyes

Under siege, time becomes a location
solidified eternally
Under siege, place becomes a time
abandoned by past and future

This low, high land
this holy harlot…
we do not pay much attention to the magic of these words
a cavity may become a vacuum in space
a contour in geography

The dead besiege me with every new day
and ask me, “Where were you? Give back
to the lexicon all the words
you offered me
and let the sleepers sleep without phantoms in their dreams!
The dead teach me the lesson: there is no aesthetic beyond freedom

The dead point out to me: why search beyond the horizon
for the eternal virgins? We loved life
on earth, between the fig and the pine trees
but we couldn’t find our way even there. We searched
until we gave life all we owned: the purple blood in our veins

The dead besiege me. “Do not walk in the funeral
if you did not know me. I seek no compliments
from man nor beast

The dead warn me. “Do not believe their rejoicing.
Listen instead to my dad as he looks at my photo crying.
“How did you take my place, son, and jump ahead of me?
I should have gone first! I should have gone first!”

The dead besiege me. “I have only changed my place of abode and my furnishings.
The deer now walk on my bedroom’s roof
and the moon warms the ceiling from the pain
thus putting an end to my pain
to put an end to my wailing.”

and the moon warms the ceiling
to put an end to my wailing.”

This siege will endure until we are truly persuaded
into choosing a harmless slavery, but
in total freedom!

To resist: that means to ensure the health
of heart and testicles, and that your ancient disease
is still alive and well in you
a disease called hope

in the remains of the dawn I walk outside of my own body
in the remains of the night I hear the footsteps of my own being

I raise my cup to those who drink with me
to an awakening to the beauty of the butterfly
in the long tunnel of this dark night

I raise my cup to those who drink with me
in the thick darkness of a night overflowing with crippled souls
I raise my cup to the apparition in my being

[to a reader] Don’t trust the poem
She is the absentee daughter. She is neither an intuition
nor a surmise, but a sense of disaster

If love is crippled, I will heal it
with exercise and humour
and with separating the singer from the song

My friends are ever preparing a party for me-
a farewell party, and a comfortable grave in the shadow of the oak
together with a marble witness from the tombstone of time
But I seem to be first in attending their funerals.
Who has died today?

The siege is transforming me from a singer
to a sixth string on a five string violin

The deceased, daughter of
the deceased, who is herself daughter of the deceased, who is the deceased’s sister
The deceased resister’s sister is related by marriage to the mother of the deceased, who is grandaughter of the deceased’s grandfather
and neighbour to the deceased’s uncle (etc. ..etc.)
No news worries the developed world,
for the time of barbarism has passed
and the victim is Joe Bloggs. Nobody knows his name,
and the tragedy, like the truth, is relative (etc. ..etc.)

Quiet, quiet, for the soldiers need
at this hour to listen to the songs
which the dead resisters had listened to, and have remained
like the smell of coffee, in their blood, fresh

Truce, truce. A time to test the teachings: can helicopters be turned into ploughshares?
We said to them: truce, truce, to examine intentions.
The flavour of peace may be absorbed by the soul.
Then we may compete for the love of life using poetic images.
They replied, “Don’t you know that peace begins with oneself,
if you wish to open the door to our citadel of truth?
So we said, “And then?”

Writing is a small ant which bites extinction.
Writing is a bloodless wound.

Our cups of coffee, and the birds, and the green trees
with the blue shade, and the sun leaping from wall
to wall like a doe
and the waters in the skies of infinite shapes, in what is left to us
of sky…and other matters the memory of which has been put on hold
prove that this morning is strong and beautiful
and that we are guests of evermore"

2003-10-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

my co-worker says i have borderline turrets hahahahah

maybe i'm more upset than i thought.

i dunno about you but
when i feel like shit,
all i want to do is sleep.
i guess cuz i'm just dead for a while...
it's a nice escape from
the agony u endure in your waking state.

2003-10-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

compromise
vs. mutual desires
false assumptions
impatience
tha same ol' mufuckin cycle of different needs.

when people say they don't want any "labels,"
it's also a cop-out for not wanting responsibilities.
they can still play
they can still flirt
they don't have to be accountable if
commitment doesn't exist.
it's just somethin that people have to be "ready" for,
& if you're not ready to make the effort,
then it sucks to be your lover.

i feel bad.
i have this fat temper
& he is so fucking cryptic that i feel i can't help it sometimes
when things are so enigmatic / open to interpretation / static.

"nakaka-inis" means "it's frustrating" in Tagalog.
this shit makes me want to quit trying altogether but
i'm in it too deep to stop what we started.

how do you make something work when
the other person is worth it but recurring situtations are so discouraging?

answers, please?

2003-10-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

bought some old+new cds yestaday @ amoeba... old ones mostly on clearance, like 3 bucks!

des'ree
gang starr: decade
goapele
jaguar wright
jazzyfatnastees
jodeci
jungle brothers
maxwell
me'shell ndgecello
paris
shame the devil: hiphop tells truth about prisons

yea i know. sometimes i go crazy with music.

ps- I RECOMMEND GOAPELE'S "EVEN CLOSER" ALBUM. seriously now.
those jams make me mellllt.

goapele: bay area songstress

2003-10-21T15:46:00.000-07:00

TOMORROW!!!

OCTOBER 22ND COALITION
Stop Police Brutality, Repression, & the Criminalization of a Generation

Actions in your city HERE.

represent atlanta, anaheim, baltimore, chicago, cleveland, columbus, cornell univ, denver, detroit, el paso, fresno, greensboro, greenville, honolulu, houston, kansas city, lawrence, los angeles, louisville, univ. of maryland, new haven, new york, norwich, oklahoma city, phoenix, pittsburg, portland, redding, san bernardino, san diego, san francisco, san juan in puerto rico, seattle, smith college, st. louis, st. martinville, tampa, washington d.c.

In San Francisco:
3 pm- 24th & Mission rally
4 pm- March to City Hall
5:30 pm- Rally @ City Hall

http://www.october22.org/

2003-10-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

thAngs are goin hella good... i don't wanna jinx it.

2003-10-17T16:29:00.000-07:00

"cuz you can talk talk talk
but that don't mean shit" - dead prez

before it was questionable, but lately there's been effort.
he even said, "i want to be ready for love, for you." [gasp] we'll see.

i'm still uppin the defenses yafeelme...
altho i am on the sprung side. scurred to fall too hard.

2003-10-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

this shit is BEYOND making me pissed.

GHETTOS ARE NOT A GAME

Making Money Off of the Misery of Others

by Tim Wise
The Black Commentator

GHETTOPOLY promises hours of entertainment for people who, naturally, neither live in a ghetto nor have visited one.

Some things just aren't funny, and some ways of making money are pathetic. Both of these truisms apply to the entrepreneurial "humor" of David Chang, a Taiwanese immigrant who apparently gets his kicks making fun of poor folks in urban America in order to make a quick buck.

Chang's business, as it were, is producing patently offensive board games, which
deliberately traffic in racist and classist stereotypes. His first creation is
"GHETTOPOLY," wherein players try and "buy stolen properties, pimp hoes, build crack houses and projects," and avoid getting carjacked.

With more than a few references to Malt Liquor addiction, loansharking, and other things that Chang apparently believes typify "ghetto culture," GHETTOPOLY promises hours of entertainment for people who, naturally, neither live in a ghetto nor have ever visited one, but who can now get off making fun of something they know nothing about.

Only in America. Somehow I doubt that Chang's father left Taiwan so his son could
profit off the misery of people trapped in desperate poverty, but who knows?

Chang insists that his game, which is available both online and in not-so-fine stores
everywhere, is not meant to be degrading, but instead to "bring people together in laughter."

But which people is he speaking of? Certainly not those who live in the places he has decided to objectify. He surely knows that his game isn't likely to sell too well in public housing projects after all, though by glancing at the "feedback" section on his website, it does seem to be a big hit with college kids.

Nice: children of privilege having a laugh at the expense of those without--how utterly typical.

Chang claims, "If we can't laugh at ourselves and how we each utilize the various
stereotypes, then we'll continue to live in blame and bitterness." But of course he isn't challenging the absurdity of those stereotypes, and he isn't laughing at himself.

There is no anti-Asian humor here, after all. No plans for "Kung-FuOPOLY," or
FORTUNECOOKIEOPOLY, not that that would be any funnier. He is laughing at others, thus not only GHETTOPOLY, which involves almost exclusively negative references to blacks, or what Chang perceives to be black urban culture, but also the upcoming offerings, HOODOPOLY, HIPHOPOPOLY, THUGOPOLY, and REDNECKOPOLY.

That the last of these makes fun of whites – but only the poorest whites of course (since he wouldn't want to offend the suburban consumer demographic) – hardly redeems Chang's venture. It only indicates that bashing low income people, of whatever race, is considered fair game. Whereas the original MONOPOLY venerates the wealthy and encourages us to be like them, Chang's rip-offs (for which Hasbro/Milton Bradley should sue his happy ass with a quickness) do not actually encourage players to identify with people who live in ghettos, or trailer parks, or whatever.

Chang's bio notes that he graduated from one of the "most prestigious private high schools in the U.S." (there's a surprise), and received a degree from the University of Rochester, both of which naturally gave him a deep understanding of the subject matter covered in his games.

Whatever details Chang may have failed to learn about "the hood" in prep school he
made up for by - and these are his words, I am not making this up – "watching TV and studying the lyrics of rap and hip-hop music."

And if that proved insufficient for the purposes of research, Chang had a fallback source of wisdom. As he puts it in a press release: "Video games provided him insight into the culture of the ghetto."

That someone could graduate from a prestigious high school and a good college,
while believing that images on video games produced by people who do not live in the places depicted, could somehow provide cultural insight into those places is shocking. His alma maters should ask for their degrees back.

Actually if one wants to understand "the ghetto" and the people who live there one has to spend time in such places. Even then, one's understanding will remain limited
compared to those who actually live there every day, navigating the waters of the
communities that David Chang and others think it is alright to parody.

If one spends any amount of time at all in such places, one immediately notices that
although there are things about poor urban communities that fit the stereotypical imagery, there are also lots of things about the places and the people who live in "ghettos," which didn't make it into this game, but which are also typical and not the least bit funny.

Like mothers trying to work two jobs to support their kids, without child care, without adequate health care, having to choose between buying them clothes for school or paying a heating bill.

Like kids who persevere against all odds, going to schools to learn and finding not
enough textbooks, or buildings that are crumbling, and yet they still show up every day, hoping to fill their minds with knowledge.

Like elderly women in public housing who look out for everyone's children, whether or not they are their own, because they see them as a treasure and vital resource in the community.

Like ministers who run day care programs, and job training programs, and whose
churches are involved in rehabilitating housing for low income families.

Like families that still pray, despite an environment that would make the most devout wonder if there was a God at all, let alone one who still cared about us.

Chang's biggest offense is in reinforcing the notion of the ghetto as a free-standing entity, with an inherent culture, separate from the rest of the society. But in truth, the ghettos of this nation are the product of deliberate decisions made by political and economic elites. Whatever culture springs up in such places is not some intrinsic pathology unique to the urban poor, but largely the consequence of institutional racism and economic oppression.

Chang's game allows us to continue ignoring the most important issue: namely, how did the ghetto become the ghetto in the first place? Answers are easy to find, though apparently Chang wasn't interested in discovering them, seeing as how doing so might have cut into his video game playing and MTV viewing schedule.

Fact is, during the first "great migration" of blacks from the south, zoning laws (not to mention overt violence) tightly restricted where people of color were allowed to live. As a result of limitations on black residential mobility, families often had to double-up in small apartments, which were rarely taken care of by landlords who had little incentive to improve their properties, since they knew there was nowhere else for black tenants to turn.

Then in the 1930s, the government began offering low-interest, taxpayer-guaranteed loans through the Federal Housing Administration. Millions of families took part in the new program, and the American middle-class was born. Over a thirty-year period, over $100 billion in home equity was loaned through these initiatives, but it was almost exclusively a white middle-class created by these policies.

FHA lending guidelines made it clear that loans were off-limits to persons who lived in "declining" neighborhoods (and every black neighborhood was rated as declining), and that, "If a neighborhood is to retain stability, it is necessary that properties shall continue to be occupied by the same social and racial classes."

In other words, there would be few if any loans for blacks seeking to move to mostly white areas either. So blacks were restricted to the urban core at the very time that the "American dream" was being subsidized for white families.

As if this wasn't bad enough, local governments then began the process of "urban renewal," which meant the elimination of low-and-moderate-income family housing,
to be replaced by office buildings, shopping centers and parking lots.

While hundreds of thousands of homes (one-fifth of all housing occupied at the time by people of color) were destroyed as part of this process, less than 10 percent of those displaced– three-fourths of whom were black – had new single-resident housing to go to afterwards, as cities rarely built new units to replace the old ones. Instead, displaced families often had to rely on crowded apartments, living with relatives, or living in run-down public housing projects.

Since then, most efforts to reduce crowding in public housing by spreading subsidized residences throughout working and middle-class neighborhoods have been blocked by those who didn't want persons from the "ghetto" living near them. So the ghetto has remained isolated, wracked by concentrated poverty and all the problems that come with it.

Those problems include higher crime rates, family dissolution, inferior health care facilities and thus, greater levels of illness, and now, apparently, the privilege of becoming the punch line in someone else's idea of a joke.

None of the above history will matter much to Chang, I'm sure, or others who think making fun of "crack whores" is the epitome of high comedy. But it should matter to us.

And so should David's phone number, which he gladly offers on his website. I think we should let him know what we think of his game, so by all means let's do so. Give him a ring at 866-444-3886, or drop him an email at davidchang@ghettopoly.com.

And then let Hasbro/Milton Bradley know about Chang's games too. You can reach them at 888-836-7025. Or e-mail Hasbro Media contact Stacey Roberts at
Sroberts@hasbro.com. Let her know that this detestable game, which rips off the concept of one of their products is out there, and that as a company whose own "diversity statement" claims a corporate commitment to "respect and inclusion, "surely they would want to weigh in on the use of that concept to
disrespect entire communities.

Since the layout, style and feel of GHETTOPOLY is more than a little similar to the original from which the OPOLY part of the name is taken, it shouldn't take a particularly brilliant patent and trademark lawyer to shut Mr. Chang's fun down for good.

Tim Wise is an antiracist essayist, activist and father. He can be reached at
timjwise@msn.com

2003-10-15T16:08:00.000-07:00

for yalls tryina impress---

tomorrow is "national boss day."
so kiss some ass! maybe something good will happen.

i'm out of that "rut" i was in earlier. depression is sometimes due to my monthly blood comin. (yea u really wanted to hear that) but it's true.

i was in a really shitty situation this past weekend-- had to tell my friend that her man was cheating on her! fucked up. i found out thru mutual folks... torn since i didn't want to be in the middle, but thought she deserved to know. she confronted him & he said he "couldn't deny it." asshole.

slimy slime men. wretched of the earth.

my friend is Farsi (persian) & their people have these 2 sayings when they're pissed:
[1] i wish you poo upon your head with no water.
[2] i wish upon you snake poison in your stomach.

sounds polite doesn't it. sounds even nicer when she says it in farsi because it's such a pretty language. but still... i was hella laughing, especially with the poo one.

2003-10-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

praise God for prop. 54's defeat.

but still gearin up for the november 4 elections... frisko heads:

YES ON PROP. H !!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVENT 1:

HIP-HOP FOR COP REFORM FUNDRAISER
Wed. Oct. 15
7 pm-midnight
EL RIO, 3158 mission & cesar chavez, SF
Donation $5-10, but no one turned away for lack of funds.
Come get your groove on to live Hip-Hop performers & DJ'S and help support Prop. H, The Police Reform Charter Amendment.
For more info, call the Yes on Proposition H Campaign at 415-293-6350 or visit: http://www.policereformnow.com.
San Franciscans for Police Reform & Oversight (SFPRO)
1663 Mission St., Suite 460, SF, CA 94103 FPPC#1256226

EVENT 2:

How can youth and parents hold the police ACCOUNTABLE?

A Community Forum on the Police Reform Measure Prop H

Thursday, October 16th
6:30-8pm at Coleman Advocates, 459 Vienna St. (Between Persia & Brazil in SF's Excelsior District.) Take bus #29 or 54 from Balboa BART.

* Even before last year's incident of police violence at Thurgood Marshall Academic High School, young people and youth advocates shared a longstanding concern about the lack of police accountability when young people are unfairly harassed, arrested or even killed by the police.

* Over the past few years, San Franciscans have witnessed a near total Breakdown in police accountability mechanisms. This November, police reform measure Prop H will be on the ballot to address this issue.

* At this forum we will hear more about Prop H and how it will impact young people in San Francisco. Hear from youth and parents impacted by these issues.

ALSO: Mobilize to Support Prop H - Special Youth & Parent Day:
Saturday October 18th 2-5pm.
Meet at ACLU, 1663 Mission St.
And every Saturday & Sunday at 10am.

Co-sponsored by Coleman Advocates, Youth Making a Change, Parent Advocates for Youth, Bay Area Police Watch, SF Bayview Newspaper, Idriss Stelley Foundation, & San Franciscans for Police Reform & Oversight (SFPRO).

Prop H is a police accountability measure on the November Ballot. For more info about Prop H, call 621-2493 or go to http://www.policereformnow.com. Contact Coleman at 239-0161.

2003-10-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

happy october!

- Pilipino-American History Month
- Black Panther History Month
- National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
- National Coming Out Month

2003-10-14T13:33:00.000-07:00

article 1:
adios columbus

article 2:
indigenous people's day

2003-10-13T23:23:00.000-07:00

rather melancholy
anticipating the Light
to come
when i myself remove the drape over this Lamp.

2003-10-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

distractions pervade the mundane
to fuel anticipation for the next day
yet when stripped & nihilism kicks
nothing left but wavering Faith.

displacement among the lost
who act found.

beware of quicksand &
gusty winds and
stick your flag of Truth deep
in the soil.
build your Home upon the
Rock
and resist
the seduction to applaud
fear.

2003-10-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

happy indigenous people's day!!!

columbus didn't discover SHIT. mass murderin demon.

2003-10-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

so..... i figure about 4 millions californians need to be exiled:

Arnold Schwarzenegger: 3,743,393 votes

Larry Flynt: 15,454

Gary Coleman: 12,683

Mary 'Mary Carey' Cook: 10,110

what pisses me off is that people fucking DIED to have the right to vote, & folks now take it for granted. although it seems to be our only "democratic" activity (and it's still not enough), it's still our responsibility to care & get off that lazy ass. at the very LEAST, please vote... yaafeeeelme.

complete results: http://www.nytimes.com/ref/elections2003/CA_RECALL_V.html

from jeanelle's blog:

"people are afraid of truth. how tragic. 'we can understand when children are afraid of darkness. the greatest tragedy in life is when men are afraid of the light.' --plato. i dont get it. i would die for such.

terminator. mr. freeze ('alright everyone...chill...chill' as he shoots everyone with his ice gun). junior. conan. red sonia. pullin that thing outta his nose in 'total recall.' kindergarten cop. pumping iron. governor of california.

really, what a lie, what a joke everything is now."

2003-10-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

oct. 7

[1] found out that arnold schwarzenegger won... what the fuck.
(i still refuse to call him MY governor)
[2] eve of full moon-- fight fight fight with the lover

oct. 8

[1] bombardment of arnold celebrations on tv & newspapers
[2] MY CAR WAS TOWED & i shelled out $171 bills... urrrrrgh.

I WAS OFFICIALLY LIVING IN A NIGHTMARE.

i'm a little over it now, but the schwarzenegger ordeal just won't go away!!! good thing we can try to recall him in 6 months, but after realizing he won by a damn landslide, i'm losing hope in the idea of common sense.

2003-10-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

thanks for the article will... i admit that i'm scared.

COUNTERPUNCH

October 9, 2003

President Schwarzenegger?

Movement Afoot to Amend Constitution for Arnold

By MARK HAND

Based on his win in Tuesday's California governor recall election, Arnold
Schwarzenegger must now be considered the frontrunner to win the presidency
in 2008. When his tenure in the White House ends in January 2009 after a
second term in office, George W. Bush will be barred by the Constitution
from running for a third term. That unfortunate predicament for George W.,
who's never been successful in any other job, will open the door to
Schwarzenegger, who by then will be the standard-bearer of the national
Republican Party, to assume the presidency.

There's just one little hitch in this plan. And it involves another section
of the Constitution, the part that prohibits anyone who is not a
"native-born citizen" from holding the position of president.

But why, you ask, wouldn't the Republicans just try to push through the
Republican-controlled U.S. Congress and the Republican-controlled state
houses a plan to get rid of the 22nd Amendment from the Constitution? That
strategy would allow George W. to remain in office for as long as the
American people would have him.

The answer is that it makes more political sense for the Republicans to
promote an immigrant-friendly movement for giving naturalized Americans the
right to realize the American dream of becoming president than to promote
the heavy-handed and authoritarian concept of a career president.

A movement to get Schwarzenegger installed in the White House in 2008 is
already afoot. Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch in July introduced a bill that would
allow anyone who has lived in the United States for 20 years to be eligible
to hold the office of the president. Schwarzenegger has lived in the United
States since 1968. The bill, which would amend the Constitution, must be
ratified by three-fourths of the state legislatures before becoming law.

Hatch, who introduced the resolution before Schwarzenegger announced his
candidacy for California governor, has said he was not necessarily thinking
of Schwarzenegger when he was drafting the constitutional amendment. But
Hatch has said he believes Schwarzenegger would make an excellent candidate
for president.

Hatch's "Equal Opportunity To Govern Amendment," or S.J. Res. 15, does not
have any co-sponsors in the Senate and is currently under consideration by
the Senate Judiciary Committee. A House version of the resolution, H.J. Res.
59, was submitted in June by Rep. Vic Snyder, a Democrat from Arkansas. His
constitutional amendment would require a foreign-born presidential candidate
to have been a citizen of the United States for at least 35 years. It
currently has six co-sponsors in the House and has been referred to the
House Subcommittee on the Constitution.

Since the assassination of John F. Kennedy almost 40 years ago, many in the
nation have yearned for another Kennedy to occupy the White House. They will
finally get their wish when Maria Shriver, daughter of JFK sister Eunice
Shriver, stands by her man Arnold as they enter the White House on
inauguration day in January 2009.

Mark Hand is editor of Press Action. He can be reached at mark@pressaction.

2003-10-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

i'll comment on the whole governor arnold thing later... even thinking about it drains me.

first, goooooood news: PROP. 54 DEFEATED!!!! (sigh of relief)

here are some stats:

>>Subject: CA Prop 54 vote: Exit poll results
>>
>>According to the Edison/Mitofsky California Exit Poll the Prop 54
>>vote
>>broke out as follows.
>>
>>By race/ethnicity:
>>
>>Whites - 58-42 No
>>Blacks - 79-21 No
>>Hispanics/Latinos - 70-30 No
>>
>>By education:
>>
>>High School Grad - 69-31 No
>>Some College - 59-41 No
>>College Grad - 59-41 No
>>Postgraduate Study - 64-36 No
>>
>>By region:
>>
>>L.A. County - 68-32 No
>>Southern California (Not L.A. County) - 52-48 No
>>Bay Area - 71-29 No
>>Coastal - 66-34 No
>>Inland/Valley - 54-46 No
>>
>>According to the latest numbers from the California Secretary of
>>State
>>"Yes" on Prop 54 received 36% of the vote statewide and only won in
>>4
>>Northern counties - Lassen, Placer, El Dorado and Sutter.

(comment: the 4 counties mentioned above need to be CUT OFF from california: PLEASE SECEDE NOW.)

2003-10-09T15:36:00.000-07:00

so this period of pain
is slowly coming to pass..........................
we fought on the eve of a full moon.

we forgave each other though, praise God.
i was [[thisclose]] to giving up.

lovey dovey again... as in "823 24/7."

gross isn't it.

2003-10-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

break up to make up that's all we do
first you love me then you hate me, it's a game for fools -stylistics

you got pissed cuz i called you names
my bad cuz i'm reactionary
im only human
angrily responding to your self-absorption.

the conversation started with you yelling,
"don't ever call me again, i need space"
and ended 2 hours later with,
"i wanna go to brazil with you"
"i don't want you to stop liking me"
"i'm trying to change"
"i need you to be patient."

i don't get it.

another song comes to mind:

"Darling you gotta let me know
Should i stay or should i go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let know
Should i stay or should i go?

Always tease tease tease
Siempre - coqetiando y enganyando
You're happy when i'm on my knees
Me arrodilla y estas feliz
One day is fine, next is black
Un dias bien el otro negro
So if you want me off your back
Al rededar en tu espalda
Well come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should i stay or should i go?
Me debo ir o que darme

Should i stay or should i go now?
Should i stay or should i go now?
If i go there will be trouble
An' if i stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

This indecision's bugging me
Esta undecision me molesta
If you don't want me, set me free
Si no me quieres, librame
Exactly who'm i'm supposed to be
Diga me que tengo ser
Don't you know which clothes even fit me?
¡§saves que robas me querda?
Come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should i cool it or should i blow?
¡§me debo ir o quedarme?

Should i stay or should i go now?
¡§yo me frio o lo sophlo?
If i go there will be trouble
Si me voi - va ver peligro
And if i stay it will be double
Si me quedo es doble
So you gotta let me know
Me tienes que decir
Should i stay or should i go?
¡§yo me frio o lo sophlo?"

-the clash

2003-10-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

please excuse my rage... lately.
i've never been fucked with in this way. perdon.

"Cause I feel you cross my mind
In disarray, intoxicated ricochet"
-third eye blind, "good for you"

"I can't keep digging roses from your grave"
"We're all dead inside the future of a shattered past"
-smashing pumpkins, "behold! the nightmare"

2003-10-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

cali heads>> VOTE TODAY!!!! NO ON PROP 54!!!! NO ON ARNOLD, DEAR GOD!!!!!!

http://www.defeat54.org/

i swear, if arnold wins, i'm moving to canada.... eh.

2003-10-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

the ball is now in my court.
i finally stood up to you & it felt DAMN GOOD.

last night between 11 pm - 2 am,
i said i hated you for using me,
for being a condescending bitch and a half
"for making yourself feel better by making me feel never good enough"
for taking advantage of my vulnerable state
for enjoying being chased while i stumbled over my own heart
for being a sadistic freak
while i enjoyed being a masochistic idiot at your feet.

you're so fucking warped.

now that i don't want you anymore,
that's when i'm more "desirable?"

and NOW you want me because i'm harder to get?
now you have an urge to kiss me?
you're hella twisted.

u were testing me to see if i'd stand up for myself, & i passed.
i was testing you to see if you'd fall for my pure intentions, & you failed.
you only want tainted love.

schizo lover.

2003-10-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

some of them want to use you
some of them want to get used by you
some of them want to abuse you
some of them want to be abused
-eurythmics

2003-10-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

cryptic ghost
decoding black white & gray
i'll take back the power that i lost.
if asserting myself annoys you, then don't fucking sit there pretending to listen.
don't cut me off
don't silence my offerings
don't assume my intentions you flaky fuck.
your struggle is not greater than mine.
don't tell me to wait because i'm not that hopelessly devoted to you
but only to someone who isn't as reckless with their desires.
if it so happens that our paths cross, then that's how it goes.
but i don't count on it
i refuse to feed your ego with
my sincere endeavors
and pathetic results.

schizo lover
magnetic destroyer
intoxicating trap.

you can't fix this bad dish by adding more to the plate.

no spices can make this delicious
just clear off the bullshit from the platter.

i wonder how long it'll take you.
no sense of urgency
because the chemistry is weak isn't it.

i refuse to be strung along
your line of indecisions.

careless & carefree
my heart fell out of your pocket
in the course of your daily run
to and from
your living nightmares.

2003-10-04T19:10:00.000-07:00

you are my fucking enigma.

i'll never figga you out... even when u try to elucidate, i'm more confused.

2003-10-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

NO ON PROP 54!

Dear Family,

Ward Connerly has introduced Proposition 54, a deceptive and dangerous
initiative that will be on the OCTOBER 7 recall ballot. He calls it the
Racial Privacy Initiative and claims that such an initiative will help us
achieve a colorblind society. He says get rid of those little boxes that
put us in boxes, and let us all be treated as individuals.

PROBLEM:

We don't live in a colorblind society. Discrimination happens
every day based upon race, ethnicity, and national origin. Without those
little boxes (that are optional anyway), we have no way of tracking when
and where and how discrimination takes place. We would have no way of
factually knowing whether affirmative action is working, whether students
of color in urban schools and white students in suburban schools are
getting an equal education, or whether Asian Americans are at a higher risk
for Hepatitis B. This is going to take a devastating toll on education,
health and medicine, law enforcement, and employment.

PROBLEM:

Proposition 54 is being financed by a non-profit organization, the
American Civil Rights Coalition, that has raised nearly $2 million for this
campaign. Legally, they have to disclose the names of those who have
contributed over $100. Have they? No. Not only is that illegal, but
highly problematic- we have no idea who is funding this campaign or what
their agenda is. They are currently being sued by the Fair Political
Practices Commission.

PROBLEM:

The election is coming up quick. We need to do outreach to as
many people as possible so that this terrible and hurtful initiative does
not pass. Please spread the word.

OCTOBER 7: VOTE NO ON PROP 54!!!

To endorse or get involved, contact the Coalition for an Informed
California:

www.informedcalifornia.org

(415) 621-1490

-------------------------------------------------------

WHAT IS PROP 54?

Prop 54 (previously "Racial Privacy Initiative")
prohibits the "classification of race, ethnicity, color, and national
origin." It aims to ban racial checkboxes/classifications “in the
operation of public education, public contracting or public employment."

HOW WILL IT AFFECT ME?

If passed, this proposition would bar students,
educators, public healthcare providers, scientists, academic
researchers, and civil rights activists/organizations from access to
race statistics that are vital to:

EDUCATION:

•Equal Education
•Leadership/Outreach programs
•Academic Freedom
•Educators/Academic researchers and students, especially in
medical/social sciences
•California Public School Accountability Programs

CIVIL RIGHTS:

•Enforcement of Hate Crime Laws that protect people of
all ethnicities
•Monitoring and reporting discrimination and racial profiling

HEALTH CARE AND PREVENTATIVE PROGRAMS:

•Research, tracking, and preventing health conditions that affect
different races differently.
•Understanding disparities in health status, disease patterns, access
to/use of healthcare, and likeliness of exposure to environmental/health hazards.
*Note: The proposition does state that "classification of medical
research subjects and patients shall be exempt" from the ban, but this
does not include basic public health data systems, doctors, or health
experts.

Please forward this message to your family, friends, and associates who
will be voting Oct. 7th in California.

For more information please visit www.defeat54.org

2003-10-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.whiteprivilege.com/

white privilege, a social relation

1. a. A right, advantage, or immunity granted to or enjoyed by white persons beyond the common advantage of all others; an exemption in many particular cases from certain burdens or liabilities.
b. A special advantage or benefit of white persons; with reference to divine dispensations, natural advantages, gifts of fortune, genetic endowments, social relations, etc.
2. A privileged position; the possession of an advantage white persons enjoy over non-white persons.
3. a. The special right or immunity attaching to white persons as a social relation; prerogative.
b. display of white privilege, a social expression of a white person or persons demanding to be treated as a member or members of the socially privileged class.
4. a. To invest white persons with a privilege or privileges; to grant to white persons a particular right or immunity; to benefit or favor specially white persons; to invest white persons with special honorable distinctions.
b. To avail oneself of a privilege owing to one as a white person.
5. To authorize or license of white person or persons what is forbidden or wrong for non-whites; to justify, excuse.
6. To give to white persons special freedom or immunity from some liability or burden to which non-white persons are subject; to exempt.

Read more about this definition of "white privilege"

2003-09-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

phonebanking against PROP. 54 all this week. VOTE NO yall!!

2003-09-30T16:40:00.000-07:00

i'm in love with someone who calls me nothing more than their "best friend." doesn't it always happen this way.

got rejected, but not completely. he said he's "not ready" & doesn't know if he ever will be (key word: "ever.")

i need to move on, dammit!!! but i'm still in this blinded phase & don't know if i can get out. i'm holding on to that inch of hope that we'll be something more.

my ideal partner, in no particular order... and this person stacked it up like a resume:

- gives praises to God & all blessings
- responds & appreciates natural elements
- doesn't like the safe & easy route; would rather struggle to build strength
- an artist in their own right: quirky, inventive, & a little INSANE & i like it
- politically active for justice + spiritually in tune
- street smart ghettofabulous, hiphop junkie
- spontaneous, fun, & energetic, but chill enough to just stare at the moon
- family oriented, role model to younger relatives, makes older relatives proud
- extremely respectful of cultures, conscious of appropriation
- not satisfied with status quo, challenges stuffy conventions
- unafraid of confrontation (sometimes brings it on) since it's an opportunity to learn
- humble but not passive -- can throw down if necessary
- compassionate to strangers & strives to forgive
- silly, witty, ghetto humor & also laughs at my stupid jokes & antics
- can theorize about metaphysical & academic shit, loves exchanging ideas
- blunt & can check me
- friendly, not condemning, makes friends easily, but doesn't expect much from them
- down for their loved ones, will do whatever it takes
- curious, loves learning, self-reflexive, & encourages me to do the same
- creative & gives me new avenues for directing my energies
- we ground each other in ways we need
- listens attentively & asks a lot of questions
- honest enough to say that something doesn't make sense or they don't like it
- can bump music hella loud in a car & groove to it
- a big kid, cute & not afraid to say or do something silly
- feels pain for women, the working class & people of color
- doesn't like to travel to exploit the land & culture, but to do community work
- encourages me to articulate my thoughts in different ways
- not afraid to try new things, unpredictable
- seeks change for the better, even if it hurts
* actively engaged in life, strives to love deeply & passionately as if it's their last
- rrrrrrrrr sexy!!! helllaaaaaaa fiiine :)

but here's where the problems lie:

- fear + distrust prevent necessary actions
- worries in advance, can't go with the flow & sometimes rigid & stubborn
- sex is too important: my emotional / mental / spiritual offerings aren't enough
- elusive by nature, indecisive & has difficulty committing, wishy-washy
- strong potential to change opinions quickly & drastically
- difficult to keep up with
- emotionally unstable
- issues with self-loathing, self-esteem, & body image
- can be MIA without telling you: if something came up or if upset
- addicted to things that are toxic, can be self-destructive
- doesn't believe your compliments about him are true
- speaks his mind, but sometimes too quickly & without tact
- lack of self-worth needs reassurance
- gets bored easily, seeks constant stimulation, even bad stimulation

i don't know what to make of it.
help!

2003-09-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

after reading jeanelle's entries, i'm inspired to blog again!

ok so it's been hectic. shit is crrrrrrrazy these past months. a few things i want to mention but don't know about breakin it down:

- i'm taking portuguese lessons because i'm going to brazil! (mari, where u at girl?! u need to skool my ignorance...)
- thnx for the encouragement will, but i'm not on the recall ballot :) although u know my rabble-rousin ass is always gettin into somethin. Prop. 54 (california) is takin up hella of my time. elections are frickin next week & we're up in this campaign mix to defeat this racist ass initiative. ONE WEEK LEFT!
- i fell out of love. i fell in love. then got rejected. now i have nothing & (as jeanelle would say) i am the "great pretender."

just bullet points before gettin to tha nitty-gritty. i actually miss this thing! a place where the whole world can peruse my life on a petri dish.

2003-09-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time.... i need to clean up this shit.

2003-08-14T03:27:00.000-07:00

MIA on the blog again. my peeps are in town for a few weeks, & it's catch up time. i'll check back later... summertime in the sfc.

2003-08-14T03:21:00.000-07:00

hey! i actually have a pic of me now:

whoops it takes up hella room. my bad.

2003-08-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

news bits from the weekend... ridiculous:

U.S. Govt. Fines Woman for Being a Human Shield
pay $10,000 or spend up to 12 years in jail... so standing up for human rights is against the law.

Against the War In Iraq, Well you Must Be Racist
"Condoleezza Rice, the most senior black woman in the Bushadministration, has levelled a charge of racism against critics of the US drive to bring Western freedoms to the Middle East. In an unusually personal speech, Miss Rice, the national security adviser to President George W Bush, said the push to bring democracy and free markets to the Middle East was 'the moral mission of our time', to be compared with the civil rights movement that ended racial segregation in America."

Planting WMDs?
"According to a stunning report posted by a retired Navy Lt. Commander and 28-year veteran of the Defense Department, the Bush administration's assurance about finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq was based on a CIA plan to "plant" WMDs inside the country. Nelda Rogers, the Pentagon whistleblower, claims the plan failed when the secret mission was mistakenly taken out by 'friendly fire.' "

Robots to go with the Technological Police State
"The Centibots project, funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), is aimed at developing new technology to support the coordinated deployment of as many as 100 robots for missions such as urban surveillance."

Corporations Follow the Government's Lead
"It's geared toward worried parents and suspicious bosses and might seem Orwellian to some: the first major commercial service that traces people's locations using their mobile phones."

Things May Not Go Better with Coke
"Coca Cola Company, under attack for containing pesticides in its bottled drinks, has more problems in its hand. It is now accused of contributing to the production of 'poisoned fruits' and thereby causing a lot of miscarriages among pregnant women in a Kerala village.According to Kerala's Perumadi panchayat president A Krishnan, the company has not been disposing off its toxic wastes properly. 'Instead they are selling it off as manure to our farmers!' "

2003-08-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

my homegirl said she saw arnold schwarzenegger announce his candidacy for CA governor on jay leno 2 nights ago. he was trash talkin the current governor (davis) the whole time, like hella gossiping... how pathetic.

it was worse when arnold was talking about getting davis out of office... and he said, "hasta la vista, baby." GEEZ. he doesn't realize that he just frickin exploited himself on national tv. he might as well rape himself in the ass for milking his actor status to gain political power... but i guess that's just how people are.

2003-08-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

whoops mah bad... gary coleman isn't webster haha. coleman was on diff'rent strokes.

man i always get them mixed up.

2003-08-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

ok so i thought arnold schwarzenegger was bad enough...

now GARY COLEMAN is also running for california governor.

what is this world coming to.

what chu talkin bout willis
coleman for governor

2003-08-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

conservative terminator... this fool is trippin:

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER RUNNING FOR CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR!!!!

if he wins, please shoot me. this is so embarassing.

proof that hollywood & politics are the same: they're both fabricated.

2003-08-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

"The great masses of the people will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one." - Adolph Hitler

the big lie? weapons of mass destruction & 9/11.

sen. robert byrd:

"Truth has a way of asserting itself despite all attempts to obscure it. Distortion only serves to derail it for a time. No matter to what lengths we humans may go to obfuscate facts or delude our fellows, truth has a way of squeezing out through the cracks, eventually.

But the danger is that at some point it may no longer matter. The danger is that damage is done before the truth is widely realized. The reality is that, sometimes, it is easier to ignore uncomfortable facts and go along with whatever distortion is currently in vogue. We see a lot of this today in politics. I see a lot of it -- more than I would ever have believed -- right on this Senate Floor.

Regarding the situation in Iraq, it appears to this Senator that the American people may have been lured into accepting the unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation, in violation of long-standing International law, under false premises. There is ample evidence that the horrific events of September 11 have been carefully manipulated to switch public focus from Osama Bin Laden and Al Queda who masterminded the September 11th attacks, to Saddam Hussein who did not. The run up to our invasion of Iraq featured the President and members of his cabinet invoking every frightening image they could conjure, from mushroom clouds, to buried caches of germ warfare, to drones poised to deliver germ laden death in our major cities. We were treated to a heavy dose of overstatement concerning Saddam Hussein's direct
threat to our freedoms. The tactic was guaranteed to provoke a sure reaction from a nation still suffering from a combination of post traumatic stress and justifiable anger after the attacks of 911. It was the exploitation of fear. It was a placebo for the anger.

Since the war's end, every subsequent revelation which has seemed to refute the previous dire claims of the Bush Administration has been brushed aside. Instead of addressing the contradictory evidence, the White House deftly changes the subject. No weapons of mass destruction have yet turned up, but we are told that they will in time. Perhaps they yet will. But, our costly and destructive bunker busting attack on Iraq seems to have proven, in the main, precisely the opposite of what we were told was the urgent reason to go in. It seems also to have, for the present, verified the assertions of Hans Blix and the inspection team he led, which President Bush and company so derided. As Blix always said, a lot of time will be needed to find such weapons, if they do, indeed, exist. Meanwhile Bin Laden is still on the loose and Saddam Hussein has come up missing. The Administration assured the U.S. public and the world, over and over again, that an attack was necessary to protect our people and the world from terrorism. It assiduously worked to alarm the public and blur the faces of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden until they virtually became one.

What has become painfully clear in the aftermath of war is that Iraq was no immediate threat to the U.S. Ravaged by years of sanctions, Iraq did not even lift an airplane against us. Iraq's threatening death-dealing fleet of unmanned drones about which we heard so much morphed into one prototype made of plywood and string. Their missiles proved to be outdated and of limited range. Their army was quickly overwhelmed by our technology and our well trained troops.

Presently our loyal military personnel continue their mission of diligently searching for WMD. They have so far turned up only fertilizer, vacuum cleaners, conventional weapons, and the occasional buried swimming pool.
They are misused on such a mission and they continue to be at grave risk. But, the Bush team's extensive hype of WMD in Iraq as justification for a preemptive invasion has become more than embarrassing. It has raised
serious questions about prevarication and the reckless use of power. Were our troops needlessly put at risk? Were countless Iraqi civilians killed and maimed when war was not really necessary? Was the American public
deliberately misled? Was the world?

What makes me cringe even more is the continued claim that we are "liberators." The facts don't seem to support the label we have so euphemistically attached to ourselves. True, we have unseated a brutal,
despicable despot, but "liberation" implies the follow up of freedom, self-determination and a better life for the common people. In fact, if the situation in Iraq is the result of "liberation," we may have set the cause
of freedom back 200 years.

Despite our high-blown claims of a better life for the Iraqi people, water is scarce, and often foul, electricity is a sometime thing, food is in short supply, hospitals are stacked with the wounded and maimed, historic
treasures of the region and of the Iraqi people have been looted, and nuclear material may have been disseminated to heaven knows where, while U.S. troops, on orders, looked on and guarded the oil supply.
Meanwhile, lucrative contracts to rebuild Iraq's infrastructure and refurbish its oil industry are awarded to Administration cronies, without benefit of competitive bidding, and the U.S. steadfastly resists offers of
U.N. assistance to participate. Is there any wonder that the real motives of the U.S. government are the subject of worldwide speculation and mistrust?

And in what may be the most damaging development, the U.S. appears to be pushing off Iraq's clamor for self-government. Jay Garner has been summarily replaced, and it is becoming all too clear that the smiling face
of the U.S. as liberator is quickly assuming the scowl of an occupier. The image of the boot on the throat has replaced the beckoning hand of freedom. Chaos and rioting only exacerbate that image, as U.S. soldiers try to
sustain order in a land ravaged by poverty and disease. "Regime change" in Iraq has so far meant anarchy, curbed only by an occupying military force and a U.S. administrative presence that is evasive about if and when it intends to depart.

Democracy and Freedom cannot be force fed at the point of an occupier's gun. To think otherwise is folly. One has to stop and ponder. How could we have been so impossibly naive? How could we expect to easily plant a
clone of U.S. culture, values, and government in a country so riven with religious, territorial, and tribal rivalries, so suspicious of U.S. motives, and so at odds with the galloping materialism which drives the western-style
economies?

As so many warned this Administration before it launched its misguided war on Iraq, there is evidence that our crack down in Iraq is likely to convince 1,000 new Bin Ladens to plan other horrors of the type we have seen in the past several days. Instead of damaging the terrorists, we have given them new fuel for their fury. We did not complete our mission in Afghanistan because we were so eager to attack Iraq. Now it appears that Al Queda is back with a vengeance. We have returned to orange alert in the U.S., and we may well have destabilized the Mideast region, a region we have never fully understood. We have alienated friends around the globe with our dissembling and our haughty insistence on punishing former friends who may not see
things quite our way.

The path of diplomacy and reason have gone out the window to be replaced by force, unilateralism, and punishment for transgressions. I read most recently with amazement our harsh castigation of Turkey, our longtime friend and strategic ally. It is astonishing that our government is berating the new Turkish government for conducting its affairs in accordance with its own Constitution and its democratic institutions.
Indeed, we may have sparked a new international arms race as countries move ahead to develop WMD as a last ditch attempt to ward off a possible preemptive strike from a newly belligerent U.S. which claims the right to hit where it wants. In fact, there is little to constrain this President. Congress, in what will go down in history as its most unfortunate act, handed away its power to declare war for the foreseeable future and
empowered this President to wage war at will.

As if that were not bad enough, members of Congress are reluctant to ask questions which are begging to be asked. How long will we occupy Iraq? We have already heard disputes on the numbers of troops which will be needed to retain order. What is the truth? How costly will the occupation and rebuilding be? No one has given a straight answer. How will we afford this long-term massive commitment, fight terrorism at home, address a serious crisis in domestic healthcare, afford behemoth military spending and give away billions in tax cuts amidst a deficit which has climbed to over $340 billion for this year alone? If the President's tax cut passes it will be $400 billion. We cower in the shadows while false statements proliferate.

We accept soft answers and shaky explanations because to demand the truth is hard, or unpopular, or may be politically costly.

But, I contend that, through it all, the people know. The American people unfortunately are used to political shading, spin, and the usual chicanery they hear from public officials. They patiently tolerate it up to a point.
But there is a line. It may seem to be drawn in invisible ink for a time, but eventually it will appear in dark colors, tinged with anger. When it comes to shedding American blood -- when it comes to wreaking havoc on
civilians, on innocent men, women, and children, callous dissembling is not acceptable. Nothing is worth that kind of lie -- not oil, not revenge, not reelection, not somebody's grand pipedream of a democratic domino theory.

And mark my words, the calculated intimidation which we see so often of late by the "powers that be" will only keep the loyal opposition quiet for just so long. Because eventually, like it always does, the truth will emerge.
And when it does, this house of cards, built of deceit, will fall."

2003-08-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

peace to my girl tina in the dominican... & cuba in a few days. just spreadin the word about her traveling collective of conscious artists:

http://www.libertadjournal.org/

2003-08-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. -Revelations 13:16-17

from CNN:

Implantable human tracking chip launched

Injected under your skin

MEXICO CITY, Mexico (AP) --Borrowing from technology for tracking pets, a U.S. company on Thursday launched Mexican sales of microchips that can be
implanted under a person's skin and used to confirm health history and identity.

The microchips, already available in the United States, could tap into a growing industry surrounding Mexico's criminal concerns. Kidnappings, robberies and fraud are common here, and Mexicans are constantly looking for ways to protect themselves against crime.

The microchip, the size of a grain of rice, is implanted in the arm or hip. Hospital officials and security guards use a scanning device to
download a serial number, which they then use to access blood type, name and other information on a computer.

Implanted into the arm

In a two-hour presentation, Palm Beach, Florida-based Applied Digital Solutions introduced reporters to the VeriChip and used a syringe-like
device and local anesthetic to implant a sample in the right arm of employee Carlos Altamirano.

"It doesn't hurt at all," he said. "The whole process is just painless."

Another chip user, Luis Valdez, who is diabetic, said the chip is "as innovative to me as the cell phone."

In the United States, the Food and Drug Administration has said it would not regulate the implant as long as it contains no medical data. Thus,
the information is stored in a separate database and not on the chip itself. Although regulations are different in Mexico, the Mexican version
of the chip will still use the database framework.

Hospitals to get scanners

Antonio Aceves, the director of the Mexican company in charge of distributing the chip here, said that in the first year of sales, the company hoped to implant chips in 10,000 people and ensure that at least 70 percent of all hospitals had the technology to read the devices.

Similar technology has been used on dogs and cats as a way to identify the pets if they are lost or stolen.

Company officials said they are working on developing similar technology that would use satellites to help find people who may have been kidnapped.

While the idea of using the chip to track people has raised privacy concerns in the United States, the idea has been popular with Mexicans.

For now, VeriChip can help confirm a kidnap victim's identity only after a body is found.

2003-08-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

"it's the first of the month... wake up wake up wake up..."

can't believe it's august ya feel me... where did the time go.

i'm flyin down to my parents' house next month to celebrate my lola's (grandmother) 93RD BIRTHDAY! praise God for longevity. can you believe she still smokes?? prolly got one lung left. but hey, still around :)

can't even fathom that she's been alive for almost a century. during world war II in the philippines, while they were hiding from the japanese, my dad was a baby & she fed him goat's milk in a cave. she also witnessed people get killed in the worst possible way for every war.

i wish we could replay people's memories before they're lost... plug a film adapter directly to their brain & project their memories on a big screen for us to learn from.

2003-08-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

www.PrayForKobe.com
please tell me this is a joke. they even got their own t-shirts!

2003-07-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

palestine-israel timeline

2003-07-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

sounds like fantasy sports... the only difference is that it involves real people DYING. "let's bet on that!"
it was cancelled, but i can't believe this was even considered... it's all just a fucking game to people in power:

Pentagon Cancels Terrorism Betting Plan

2003-07-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

weddings = tiring.

lani & asbury are ambitious people: they had THREE wedding ceremonies in one day.
thai water blessing in the morning, baptist church at noon, & chinese banquet in the evening... in order to accomodate each aspect of their identity. lani is thai & chinese, and asbury is a black minister (from harvard... mah bad.)

it was fun going to each event... but wore me out quick.
besides the fact that they're a great couple in Christ & i'm happy for them... gotta admit that the soul food for lunch & chinese food for dinner were definite highlights :)

2003-07-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

i think this line just made my day: "ginuwine looks like a mongoose."
timi you crack me up girl.

2003-07-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

bell hooks puttin it down:

quote 1:
"I entered the classroom with the conviction that it was crucial for me and every other student to be an active participant, not a passive consumer...education as the practice of freedom.... education that connects the will to know with the will to become. Learning is a place where paradise can be created."

quote 2:
"Writing is my passion. It is a way to experience the ecstatic. The root understanding of the word ecstasy — ‘to stand outside’ —comes to me in those moments when I am immersed so deeply in the act of thinking and writing that everything else, even flesh, falls away."

quote 3:
"If I were really asked to define myself, I wouldn’t start with race; I wouldn’t start with blackness; I wouldn’t start with gender; I wouldn’t start with feminism. I would start with stripping down to what fundamentally informs my life, which is that I’m a seeker on the path. I think of feminism, and I think of anti-racist struggles as part of it. But where I stand spiritually is, steadfastly, on a path about love."

deeeyam.

2003-07-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

scribbles during lunch- 12:20 pm

on the person whose people are perceived as not having a country,
and acts accordingly as a product of displacement & purveyor of new possibilities:
not until you choose to have it cease,
you'll remain a wavering ghost flapping between the
dimensions of my mind's back burner & the eye's conjured image.
prison guards named Normalcy and Sanity tailored straightjackets
for your image to be suspended at the helm of hallucination,
with the only payments of bail for memory to be released
are either (1) mental illness to act upon the thoughts of my dream stance
or (2) an invitation of my attentive presence to break
the recurring playbacks of outdated visions.

it really is up to you whether or not i
can experience a tangible image of you,
because if the latter is unmanageable,
then the former will eventually push its way out of
imagination's gridlock... into this... present. now
reality's time and absolute space making
contact with the actualization of creativity's
force within and without me.

2003-07-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

dang where my girls at... from the front to back:

becca: brazil
amber: japan
katherine: cuba
najwa: yemen
ann: philippines
eden: hawaii
fiona: london
em: europe
mahasin: nyc

yall are crazy. i miss u.

2003-07-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

type "weapons of mass destruction" in google search and click on the first link.
read the error page!

2003-07-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

death of saddam's sons boosts u.s. forces

"yay they're dead! i'm so happy!" there's nothing like a celebration after a massacre.
a clear sign that this is a nation under GOD, where death boosts morale and killing raises spirits.

2003-07-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

personal interaction is so basic.

i think the most interesting thing about europe is their relationship to race... no one can assume by looks. you're not "black," you're french. you're not chinese, you're italian. in the u.s., if you're black, you're black. no one cares if you're from haiti or morocco; it all stops at your color, with all the prejudices in the package. you have to "shed" your origins into the amerikan melting pot if you want to fit in. otherwise, you're "too ethnic."

before nina simone died, she lived out the rest of her life in france because she said it was "less racist" than the u.s.

of course people of color still make up a majority of the working class in europe since it's a huge force of colonization. but it doesn't match up to the -uniqueness- of amerikan discrimination played out through institutional policies, i.e. the specific timeline of racial exclusions & internment, test runs of drugs and carcinogenic contraceptives on women of color dating back to eugenics ("the science of breeding the master race"), having communities of color pitted against each other so as to wipe us out completely (i.e. spurring gang wars in designated ghettos, placing us on the front lines of combat & military drafting), the intentional bomb testings & toxic dumpings on indigenous reservations, and the billions of dollars made on exploiting sweatshop and incarcerated laborers. and this is all outside -and within- amerikan borders.

(we can't forget the "tokens" like colin powell & condi rice. but let's not even go there...)

oh say can you see.

2003-07-23T13:59:00.000-07:00

so here's what's been goin down.

my momma booked my family on a 10-day whirlwind tour of europe... dunno why. she says she wants to travel before she's too old. anyway... that's where i've been. so here's my little report back...

london: party scene for punkers & electronica, but a little too old school for me... with all the props to royalty. peeps clubbin in the west end, right next to soho which started as an immigrant community (i.e. chinatown). subways are called "tubes", bathrooms are "water closets" (or "W.C", "toilets"), "take away" means to go, fries are "chips", & chips are "crisps." red double decker buses everywhere.

paris: the best hiphop scene & graf art in all of europe, which makes it my favorite city! :) artsy-fartsy & all about revolution (since they beheaded their king back in the day.) everyone's just chillin outside... by the river, in front of cafes, in the park. went up the eiffel tower, champs elysees, & to the largest museum in the world: the louvre & saw the mona lisa. trippin. checked out place du tertre or "artists square", the mecca of starvin artists. this area inspired the plays "rent" & "la boheme."

* folks say that the french are rude, but to me they're just keepin it real... their attitude is only in response to some arrogant americans who demand that everyone in the world should speak english, & the french just don't give them the ass-kissin treatment they're lookin for. but a smile goes a long way, so if you're cool with them, they're good to you. body language is everything!

switzerland: has the cleanest tap water in europe- straight from the Alps. spectacular views of lakes, mountains, i mean... just think of the sound of music, ya feel? has the BEST mofo'in chocolate i've ever tasted. has the highest minimum wage & standard of living in europe. food & drinks are expensive, they hardly eat meat & encourage local farming. in geneva, it's illegal to flush apartment toilets between 11 pm- 6 am because you might disturb your neighbors. what??

florence: saw the statue of david, city where michelangelo & leonardo da vinci lived. this is where tourists buy cheap leather & gold @ the duty free... this is also where i was offered some weed, but i was about to board my bus.

rome: shops are closed for siesta between 12-3 pm because the mediterranean is soooo damn hot... which means everyone takes a nap & stays up hella late when it's cooler at night (i liked that.) just chillin outside. fountains & frickin obelisks everywhere!!! everyone's fashionable & the men wear butt-huggin pants foreal. pickpocketing in italy is an art.

did u know that the vatican is the smallest voting country in the U.N.? it felt like there was a dark cloud over it when i went there. can't explain. all i know is that the statues surrounding the giant obelisk was a little creepy.

europe in general:
- i saw che guevarra t-shirts for sale in EVERY SINGLE COUNTRY we went to (yup, even switzerland!) i have no idea.
- "pace" (peace) flags and a lot of anti-war graf & stickers
- several public spaces are outside, as opposed to indoor malls! folks just sit around & chill outside for hours.
- fast food is not a trend. everyone eats slowly & the restaurants don't rush for you to leave.
- overall, i felt a general anti-american sentiment against those in favor of war... but it's pretty much expected.

[there's more, but i'll testify later]

2003-07-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

yesterday:
> black star reggae bar in the lower east side
> had the best venezuelan arepas & banana milkshake
> new pipe on st. mark's
> a lil shoppin here n there

today: nars & i finna check out el museo del barrio & some otha spots

i already miss frisKo & tha peeps. i love nyc but home is home ya feel... it's been 2 weeks & i'm ready to go back.

2003-07-15T04:52:00.000-07:00

i'm back!

sorry i didn't say "bye" when i left for my trip :( shit was hectic. i'll post about it later.

i'm in nyc till friday so if anyone's around- hit me up :) i'm watchin amateur night at the apollo tomorrow, & just chillin for the week.

2003-07-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

"no you won't be naming no buildings after me / that go down dilapitated."

only badu can make the word "dilapitated" sound sexy (a.d. 2000).

2003-06-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

peeps keep sendin me emails to join "friendster." why?

2003-06-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

been reconnecting this past week... with some people, u never lose it. with others, u gotta work hella hard & wonder if it's worth it.

reggae club tonight with my girls from back in the day... just hope i don't run into [someone] i don't wanna see. my one specific apprehension.

i'm leaving for my trip in 2 days... and of course i haven't started packing yet :p

2003-06-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

amber's email... corny but sweet:

>>"I Wish You Enough"
>>
>>
>>At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in
>>their last moments together. They had announced her
>>plane's departure and standing near the door, he said
>>to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough".
>>She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than
>>enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you
>>enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she
>>left. He walked over toward the window where I was
>>seated.
>>
>>Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to
>>cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he
>>welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye
>>to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I
>>have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I
>>had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my
>>Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were
>>limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how
>>much he meant to me. So I knew that this man was
>>experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this
>>a forever good-bye?" I asked.
>>
>>"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have
>>challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip
>>back will be for my funeral, " he said.
>>"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I
>>wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?" He began
>>to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down
>>from other generations. My parents used to say it to
>>everyone."
>>
>>He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to
>>remember it in detail, he smiled even more.
>>"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the
>>other person to have a life filled with enough good
>>things to sustain them," he continued and then turning
>>toward me he shared the following as if he were
>>reciting it from memory.
>>
>>I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I
>>wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I
>>wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I
>>wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life
>>appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy
>>your wanting.
>>
>>I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you
>>possess. I wish you enough "Hello's" to get you
>>through the final "Good-bye."
>>He then began to sob and walked away.
>>
>>They say, "It takes a minute to find a special person,
>>an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but
>>then an entire life to forget them."
>>
>>My friends and loved ones, I wish you enough.

2003-06-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

yalls knew it since day one... no surprise:

10 Appalling Lies We Were Told About Iraq

by christopher scheer, 062703

Today, more than three months after Bush's stirring declaration of war and nearly two months since he declared victory, no chemical, biological or nuclear weapons have been found, nor any documentation of their existence, nor any sign they were deployed in the field.

What follows are just the most outrageous and significant of the dozens of outright lies uttered by Bush and his top officials over the past year in what amounts to a systematic campaign to scare the bejeezus out of everybody:

LIE #1: "The evidence indicates that Iraq is reconstituting its nuclear weapons program ... Iraq has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum tubes and other equipment need for gas centrifuges, which are used to enrich uranium for nuclear weapons." – President Bush, Oct. 7, 2002, in Cincinnati.

FACT: This story, leaked to and breathlessly reported by Judith Miller in the New York Times, has turned out to be complete baloney. Department of Energy officials, who monitor nuclear plants, say the tubes could not be used for enriching uranium. One intelligence analyst, who was part of the tubes investigation, angrily told The New Republic that, "You had senior American officials like Condoleezza Rice saying the only use of this aluminum really is uranium centrifuges. She said that on television. And that's just a lie."

LIE #2: "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." – President Bush, Jan.28, 2003, in the State of the Union address.

FACT: This whopper was based on a document that the White House already knew to be a forgery thanks to the CIA. Sold to Italian intelligence by some hustler, the document carried the signature of an official who had been out of office for 10 years and referenced a constitution that was no longer in effect. The ex-ambassador who the CIA sent to check out the story is pissed: "They knew the Niger story was a flat-out lie," he told the New Republic, anonymously. "They [the White House] were unpersuasive about aluminum tubes and added this to make their case more strongly."

LIE #3: "We believe [Saddam] has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons." – Vice President Cheney on March 16, 2003 on "Meet the Press."

FACT: There was and is absolutely zero basis for this statement. CIA reports up through 2002 showed no evidence of an Iraqi nuclear weapons program.

LIE #4: "[The CIA possesses] solid reporting of senior-level contacts between Iraq and al-Qaeda going back a decade." – CIA Director George Tenet in a written statement released Oct. 7, 2002 and echoed in that evening's speech by President Bush.

FACT: Intelligence agencies knew of tentative contacts between Saddam and al-Qaeda in the early '90s, but found no proof of a continuing relationship. In other words, by tweaking language, Tenet and Bush spun the intelligence180 degrees to say exactly the opposite of what it suggested.

LIE #5: "We've learned that Iraq has trained al-Qaeda members in bomb-making and poisons and deadly gases ... Alliance with terrorists could allow the Iraqi regime to attack America without leaving any fingerprints." – President Bush, Oct. 7.

FACT: No evidence of this has ever been leaked or produced. Colin Powell told the U.N. this alleged training took place in a camp in northern Iraq. To his great embarrassment, the area he indicated was later revealed to be outside Iraq's control and patrolled by Allied war planes.

LIE #6: "We have also discovered through intelligence that Iraq has a growing fleet of manned and unmanned aerial vehicles that could be used to disperse chemical or biological weapons across broad areas. We are concerned that Iraq is exploring ways of using these UAVs [unmanned aerial vehicles] for missions targeting the United States." – President Bush, Oct. 7.

FACT: Said drones can't fly more than 300 miles, and Iraq is 6000 miles from the U.S. coastline. Furthermore, Iraq's drone-building program wasn't much more advanced than your average model plane enthusiast. And isn't a "manned aerial vehicle" just a scary way to say "plane"?

LIE #7: "We have seen intelligence over many months that they have chemical and biological weapons, and that they have dispersed them and that they're weaponized and that, in one case at least, the command and control arrangements have been established." – President Bush, Feb. 8, 2003, in a national radio address.

FACT: Despite a massive nationwide search by U.S. and British forces, there are no signs, traces or examples of chemical weapons being deployed in the field, or anywhere else during the war.

LIE #8: "Our conservative estimate is that Iraq today has a stockpile of between 100 and 500 tons of chemical weapons agent. That is enough to fill 16,000 battlefield rockets." – Secretary of State Colin Powell, Feb. 5 2003, in remarks to the UN Security Council.

FACT: Putting aside the glaring fact that not one drop of this massive stockpile has been found, as previously reported on AlterNet our own intelligence reports show that these stocks – if they existed – were well past their use-by date and therefore useless as weapon fodder.

LIE #9: "We know where [Iraq's WMD] are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south, and north somewhat." – Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, March 30, 2003, in statements to the press.

FACT: Needless to say, no such weapons were found, not to the east, west, south or north, somewhat or otherwise.

LIE #10: "Yes, we found a biological laboratory in Iraq which the UN prohibited." – President Bush in remarks in Poland, published internationally June 1, 2003.

FACT: This was reference to the discovery of two modified truck trailers that the CIA claimed were are potential mobile biological weapons lab. But British and American experts – including the State Department's intelligence wing in a report released this week – have since declared this to be untrue. According to the British, and much to Prime Minister Tony Blair's embarrassment, the trailers are actually exactly what Iraq said they were, facilities to fill weather balloons, sold to them by the British themselves.

On the terrible day of the 9/11 attacks, five hours after a hijacked plane slammed into the Pentagon, retired Gen. Wesley Clark received a strange call from someone (he didn't name names) representing the White House position: "I was on CNN, and I got a call at my home saying, 'You got to say this is connected. This is state-sponsored terrorism. This has to be connected to Saddam Hussein,'" Clark told Meet the Press anchor Tim Russert. "I said, 'But – I'm willing to say it, but what's your evidence?' And I never got any evidence.'"

And neither did we.

2003-06-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

dayam it's HELLA HOT today. my boss made me an ice cream float! :D :D she's not so bad after all.

2003-06-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

went to hiphop film festival yesterday in the mission & saw straight outta hunters point. if you're not familiar with the bay, hunters point (hp) is a ghetto slum on the tip of san francisco: military barracks-style. black folks worked in the hp shipyard durin world war II & got laid off after the war with not enough funds to get out the projects.

hp is the MOST toxic & polluted abandoned military base in the united states!!! right here in sf... damn!! it's been declared a superfund for almost a decade, & the navy refuses to clean up that shit. sounds familiar... like all over the world.

as far as city planning goes, hunters point is strategically planned for isolation: hills on one side & a polluted shipyard on the other... can't leave.

& of course the recipe of fear pumped by the news coverage: pigs, thugs, killings, drugs, prostitutes.... to scare people away from helping them.

anyway check out the trailer. that's all :p

2003-06-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

arrested development was offf theheeeezy. positive energy. picked up their latest cd (not in stores since they've decided to be more "independent.") they're not marketing themselves to corporations, but their music will be less accessible... unless u can buy it online or download it somewhere.

jeanelle & her art folks came up to visit. they're hella coo... fun & low maintenance. hope they come back to visit again... we took the muni everywhere & got swerved :p

last day of the yuri kochiyama leadership institute was saturday. i hope to build with these folks in the future... i'm in denial that it's over.

2003-06-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

homegirl's sis tried to commit suicide, & we was chillin in the hospital day after she got admitted. doctors were assholes. rather than treating her, they just drugged her down even more since she's a vocal woman (justified the meds as "calming her down", but all it does is fuck her up even more.) gave her zanex, lithium, klonopin, hella shit... said she didn't have the right to an attorney cuz she's "under their care." one medicine (klonopin) should only be taken every 8 hours, & they gave it to her every 30 minutes. they might kill her before she kills herself, those fucking assholes.

she also has diet restrictions, for health reasons & she's muslim. but they have no fucking compassion & force steak & ham & all this shit down her throat. and all they can say is, "don't blame us, we don't work in the cafeteria!" moral of the story: a lawsuit is in progress...

i swear... if u work at a place that requires compassion: the day that you stop caring, & start harming people, you should fucking quit your job. hospital workers are crazier than patients. especially shrinks. her primary care physician won't refer her to anyone else & charges $20 a minute on the phone! so we lookin for a good doctor, but since it's outside of her insurance plan, it'll cost more... shit is ill.

2003-06-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

another quizzy! (what i do @ work.)

"a blind man feels the wickedest taste is exquisite
he can hear me loud and clear and smell fear in the air
without sight he gains insight and lets me see his true self
not what he wants me to perceive him to be
perception is deception
without the facts you keep guessin
that's the image in the mirror so we eternal reflection
forever manifestin the cleverness in the lesson
droppin with authority with no doubt & no question
yo my man's blazin more cheeba
blowin out like speakers
keepin yall open wide like receivers
we rock on shed like light the break of dawn
and we stand strong like the words in skyy's song c'mon"

2003-06-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

let's unite in hatred:

"With the end of the Cold War, what we really need is an obvious ideological and threatening enemy, one worthy of our mettle, one that can unite us in opposition."
-irving kristol, council on foreign relations. wall street journal editorial, 8/2/96.

"The Red Menace is Gone. But Here's Islam."
-ny times headline 1/21/96. section 4.

spoken like true peacemakers. courtesy of tora.

2003-06-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

"i tried to practice my whole life tactics but in your clutch and your touch my armor just collapses
sun's bliss breeds obliviousness so recollect sweet breath still wet on my lips

i ignore your aura but it grabbed me by the hand like the moon pulled the tide and the tide pulled the sand"

2003-06-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

sunday: arrested development. come thru if ya can ;)

2003-06-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

from nick:

2003-06-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

"bein with you like a habit without you i can't stand it"

2003-06-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

u.s. FBI is trippin cuz they can't control afghanistan's escalating guerilla war.

so WHO do they ask to help them?

the TALIBAN. how sweet... they got each other's backs.